Thirsty, Desperate Presidential Candidates Are Turning To Tinder To Meet Voters

We’ve all been there. Feeling rejected, spurned, unloved, we take to dating apps, to swipe through the morass of people in hopes we find something, someone, anyone, who sticks. We don’t even know what we want in that moment. Conversation, intimacy, perhaps a pledge to be voted for in an upcoming Republican primary.

Spotted in Massachusetts, Marco Rubio’s Tinder profile in advance of the state’s Super Tuesday vote.

Strong start. Good picture. Kid. Bitches love kids. But it takes a turn for the desperate as fuck when you hit his bio.

Marco. The ladies read this thing. Look how sad you sound. “Please vote” “just a guy.” Hell, YOU USE TWO FUCKING EMOJI FACES. TWO.

No one wants a cuckolded candidate, and that’s exactly how you come across here. Show some swagger. The outline of your dick. That’s what people really wanna vote for. Not some winky facing wimp.

Get it together, man.

Rubio is currently 28 points behind Trump in Massachusetts’s most recent poll.

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[Via @Tammy]