My standards when it comes to food are pretty low; my only requirements are that it’s not got mold festering all over and that there’s zero cooked onions. No exceptions.
So imagine how hungry I am staring at this 6-year-old McDonald’s Happy Meal that both has no mold and no onions, considering I haven’t had breakfast yet today because I’m too lazy to get up and make myself a bagel:
Mmmmmmm, tasty. Here I was, trying to figure out what to eat for lunch when this lil’ baby popped up on my screen. Problem solved! Granted, food is supposed to rot and get moldy when it’s been left out, but so what? The added chemicals just give it that nice obesity-laced flavor we all know and love. Besides, I’ve been told that devouring the souls of young children will keep your skin from aging, and this Happy Meal is the same age as your average 1st grader so I’m thinking it’s an acceptable substitute.