Michigan Just Passed A Bill Making It Impossible To Pleasure Your Lady

Look, let’s be frank. Most women can’t orgasm from vaginal penetration alone. Which is word. I’m all for doing whatever it takes, which is usually a mix of cunnilingus and, if we are going to be frank (this is a safe space), a bit of anal penetration.

That’s the stuff right there.

But in Michigan, you know won’t be able to ever get your lady off, because the Senate just passed a bill banning all forms of oral and anal sex between consenting adults.

Yea, man, in 2016.

From The Free Thought Project:

During their session last week, the Michigan Senate passed a bill that effectively bans all forms of sodomy, anal, oral, gay and non-gay — making the acts punishable by up to 15 years in prison.

The passage of this Bill is in spite of the U.S. Supreme Court’s 2003 ruling in Lawrence v. Texas declaring sodomy bans unconstitutional.

In an attempt to skirt the legal boundaries of the SCOTUS ruling, Michigan encompasses these so-called ‘sex crimes’ into the legislation on bestiality — as if the two are related in any way whatsoever.

“A person who commits the abominable and detestable crime against nature either with mankind or with any animal is guilty of a felony,” reads SB 219.

And, if the state catches you committing this ‘felony,’ you will face ‘not more than 15 years’ in prison.

Fifteen years. What a great state. According to lawmakers, the bill is ostensibly aimed at animal owners, because it includes a reference to bestiality. They could have taken the mankind part out, because it’s unconstitutional, but meh, said state senator Rick Jones.

“If we could put a bill in that said anything that’s unconstitutional be removed from the legal books of Michigan, that’s probably something I could vote for, but am I going to mess up this dog bill that everybody wants? No.”

How bad is the dog sex problem in Michigan that people are pining for this?