I really like this question posed over on “Ask Reddit” the other day. One reason is of course because the answers are, as usual, mind-boggling. But I also like it because the answers to the question posed by Redditor wotheli, “GIRLS: What is the most embarrassing thing a guy ever did to you on a date?” can serve as a primer in what NOT to do.
One would think that a guy wouldn’t have to be told not to do these things, but since these answers actually appeared in the results it’s obvious that not everyone gets it. So if you’ve ever done or tried to do any of these things, or have even thought about doing them, here’s a little tip: DON’T.
A few of the highlights…
On our first date he let out a small fart. No big deal. I was just going to pretend it didn’t happen. But he made a big deal about it and kept saying “That was so awkward! I’m so sorry, I hope it doesn’t smell!” Over and over again. I could hear his roommates laughing in the other room. I had to actually reassure him it wasn’t so bad to get him to shut up about it.
Anyways, we’ve been married 2 years now. ~ Doesnt_matter_lady
Wasn’t really a date but a guy making eyes at my friend and I from across a bar flagged down a guy with a cooler whom he assumed was selling roses. He paid the guy and then pointed at our table. Cooler guy comes over and serves us hot chicken wings.
The guy runs over and apologizes profusely while his friends were falling down laughing. ~ covermeImgoingin
His dad owned a bakery, and he helped out on the weekends. One day we went to the movies after he was at the bakery, and he was talking animatedly about this new yeast, and how it was making life very hard for him. The lady in front turned around, and recommended he go see a doctor. I felt so bad for him. ~ hotbrokemess
Not on the date, but after the date he brought me to his house, we started having sex, and he wouldn’t stop asking me if his penis was big enough….while he was inside of me.Then half way through, he stopped and turned on a Game of Thrones to the Daenerys rape scene and asked me if I wanted to reenact it. ~ fairyqueef
I had asked out a guy I knew for a while him but he gave me a speech about how uninterested he was and how girls always mistake his kindness for romantic interest. I got the point, didn’t pursue it.
But, after a couple of months he changes his mind, tells me he’d like to give it a go and invites me to a movie. Within the first five minutes he’s telling me, in mid-July with sun shining in my face, that I’m being enormously rude because I’m wearing sunglasses. He literally won’t shut up about it, but I’m not going to take them off because it’s crazy sunny outside and we’re walking with the sun in my eyes.
The rest of the date didn’t get much better, he made awkward blowjob jokes the whole time and was really just mean-spirited towards me and other people. The biggest turn-off is when he tries to convince me he’s some macho dude since he beat up a homeless dude FOR LOOKING AT HIM FUNNY. I was so embarrassed to have ever wanted to go out with him. ~ prouge
He got mad at someone and ripped off his shirt. Not like he took it off abruptly. He freaking grabs the middle of his shirt with two claw hands and TEARS it off his body SCREAMING.
I was stunned. Never in my life… could I have even imagined I would see that… and be on a date with that… ~ pigeonsandroses
I once had a first (and last) date with this guy who tried to get me to dictate his every move. Like he wouldn’t turn left or right unless I told him to. I just said “yeah I’m not doing that” and sat down on a bench while he continuously walked into a wall. ~ my_name_is_not_theo
In my early 20’s a guy invited me to pizza. The bill for the pizza and 2 drinks was like $17. Hey, I’m cool and expected to go dutch and gave him a $20 bill. He paid and didn’t offer me change. He fucking kept the change. I was too shocked to ask it. No second date. ~ enladistancia
We were watching a movie–well, I was watching a movie and he was just staring at me. I asked him why he was doing that and he said, “I can’t stop looking at you cause you’re so beautiful” or something in a cheesy voice. I was actually so frustrated I said “JUST WATCH THE FUCKING MOVIE!”
Aaaaaaaaaaaand soon after I realized that I actually wanted to date women. ~ wild_muses
Went out on a date with a guy, the whole time all he was talking about was how much he worked out and, if I worked out because I wasn’t “a gross fat chick”. As we are walking back to his car, he puts on REO Speedwagon and asks me if I liked them. When I reply: they are ok. He goes into a 15 minute rant about how awesome they are and, if I am a brown girl who likes anime and Genesis then I should certainly like them.
So, once I’m at home, by this time I’m done and I know ill never speak to him again. I thank him for the date and prepare to say this won’t work but he asks me: So since I paid and shit and you’re super cute, you think I could come inside? Get you off? I work magic with my fingers…
No thank you bye bye. ~ XenomorphEmpress
He was nearly silent during the entire date and then started on a 15 minute rant about the ancient brothels of Pompeii, going into far too much detail about the goings on in them than is appropriate discussion for a first date. And the whole time he had melted vanilla ice cream on his chin after he refused to get napkins for himself.
EDIT: I completely forgot to mention that he was wearing a fedora. ~ FormerlySalve_Lilac
His mom called to tell him that James Gandolfini (Tony Soprano) had died. And then he cried in the bar and we left. It did not work out. ~ northsoutheastwest7
It was a first meeting from meeting online.
He wanted Buffalo Wild Wings and made me drive to his side of town.
He had sauce ALL OVER HIS FACE and refused napkins, repeatedly from me and the waitress. He said it didn’t make sense to wipe your face if you were only going to keep getting it messy. Instead wait until you are done.
The waitress kept giving me looks of pity, along with everyone with a nearby table. ~ pixiepants_
Felt up my hands and told me, with a straight face, “You have really nice veins”. There was no second date. ~ rabbitwalter
Walked with me around Walmart…sporting sweatpants and a boner. ~ sweetNsourPuss
Ohhh-kay then. I think we’re done here.
Check out the rest of the embarrassing answers and the equally as fascinating comments over at Reddit.
Embarrassed woman image by Shutterstock