People Shared The Cruelest, Most Hilarious Insults They’ve Ever Heard So Commit Them To Memory You Assholes

by 3 years ago

I think at some point in all of our lives we’ve witnessed, been subject of, or dished out an insult so vicious it stopped us in our tracks, and shattered someone’s world. People are assholes, there’s not getting around it, and if you haven’t experienced something like this then you’re probably just really young (or lucky), but rest assured that it’s coming one day. That’s why you should commit these insults below to memory, and join the assholes.

Over on one of those threads where everyone shares their experience a bunch of people told stories of the most hilarious insults they’ve ever heard and some of them are fanfuckingtastic. So read through them, try and remember the best ones, and hope that you can recall them one day when the time is right:

“If your eyes were any further apart, you’d be an herbivore.”

“If you look up gullible in the dictionary, you’ll find a picture of you”
“Yeah, well at least my dictionary doesn’t have pictures, you fucking idiot”


“If you look up “Idiot” in the dictionary, you know what you are going to find?” “A picture of me?” “No! A definition of an idiot, which you fucking are!”

When I was in 3rd grade some girl on the bus called me “Milk and cucumbers boy”. I had no idea how to react.

When arguing with a British friend (I’m American) about their inferior spellings and pronunciations, he let out a “I have furniture older than your country.”

One time my ma and I were having a huge fight and in the midst of all the anger and yelling, I turn to walk away and then suddenly look her in the eye and with a dead-serious face I scream “YOUR menstruation synched up to MINE. I AM THE ALPHA” which set off the saltiest, loudest “WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?” I’ve ever heard in my life. PS- My brother nearly spit out his cereal with laughter since he was in the room with us.

“If the Catholic Church saw you, they would start promoting abortions.”

I once told my buddy that my dad is half Mexican, half Navajo.. without missing a beat he said “Oh, so your dad can put his ear to the ground and hear border patrol?”

Tequila Shot Snort
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