A big, fat boner. That doesn't go away. That hurts. A new FDA report has linked the active ingredient of Ritalin and Concerta—methylphenidate—to long and painful erections, also known as priapism, in males aged 8-33. God, how much would that suck? Being a kid going through puberty and your first boner is a raging, wretched experience that leaves you scarred for life. Thankfully though the, FDA has some advice.
“Younger males, especially those that have not yet reached puberty, may not recognize the problem or may be embarrassed to tell anyone if it occurs,” the FDA said.
So parents of young males, be sure to ask every day about your son's erectile experiences. As for you college fuckers, the next time it happens, library sex. Up top.
Also, don't worry, instances of this are very rare.