Why No Bro Should Ever Take a Selfie

Do you know anyone that has a default profile picture or avatar with his shirt off? If he doesn’t have a significant social disorder then he most definitely doesn’t get laid. Besides the fact that Bros get their pictures taken by other people and then sift through photos and leave the best ones (all of them!), we almost never actually take our own pictures. I might have 2 out of hundreds of pictures on various social media networks that have been taken personally. I know what I look like, I leave it to everyone else to document my awesomeness in motion (note: I’m still not the asshole that hashtags that shit)..

Selfies generally work for girls with really nice bodies. The picture accentuates the body in a long mirror and deflects from a grill that tends to be below average. This isn’t common for all girls, but even then selfies are generally taken as means of garnering attention. And what girl doesn’t like attention? So the obvious inference is that the dude posting selfies on Instagram, Pinterest, Facebook, or whichever social networking site that he uses to whore himself to the masses; is that he needs attention. Insecurity runs deep in every individual, but the people that are asking for comments, likes, and concurrent opinions are the worst. To some degree girls are okay when it comes to these pictures because guys love to be creepers and comment and like shit. But what is homeboy thinking by posting a picture of this shit? Pathetic.

Even worse, this is the kind of crap that shows up on personal feeds and is out there for just about anyone to see. Do these dudes really want their Bros to see the picture or are they just that lame that they think I won’t make fun of them? David Beckham could post a picture of some dumb shit and I am going to make a snide comment. So it’s obvious that when your average Joe posts a picture of his lackluster arsenal he will hear about it from someone.

Usually it’s the really clueless individuals that do this kind of shit. Girls do it out of boredom. But guys do it as a means of validating themselves. Whether it’s because they were the pathetic little shit that got picked on before high school or because they decided to hit the weight room after dumping a girl that they regret cheating on, these guys have axes to grind. In some cases, they are the guy that got through college on a scholarship playing a sport that has no meaningful professional league, like lacrosse, and now that they are just average looking dudes they are looking for additional outlets for validation.

The moral of the story is that is you are a dude and you take pictures of yourself, please make sure they are of you doing something epic. If you are drinking a beer, kissing a girl, or flexing in front of the mirror please exit the stage. Pictures taken by girls are forgivable if they are lame. But dudes don’t take pictures, so if you take pictures of yourself you better make it good.

The post was originally published on The Infallible Bro.