‘Great Leader’ Kim Jong-un recently made a legal mandate banning all sarcasm in North Korea. So I don’t want my next statement to be misconstrued as sarcasm just in case I ever visit the DPRK, I’m 100% serious when I say it’s abso-fucking-lutely ridiculous that Kim Jong-un is attempting to boost tourism in North Korea because it’s the least hospitable country on the planet.
A week-long camping trip to Darfur would be preferable to just one night in a North Korean hotel. This is a fact lost on Kim Jong-un, and he must be pretty shocked to see these actual TripAdvisor reviews of Pyongyang hotels uncovered by the UK’s Sun:
You can scroll through all of the TripAdvisor reviews of North Korean hotels HERE, but to save you some time the UK paper ‘The Sun‘ has pulled some of the choice reviews left regarding tourists’ experiences in the DPRK:
A recent visitor wrote: “Horrible place, but I guess still on the upper side of NK hospitality. Beds are wooden pallets with a cushion on it. Warm water in the morning and evening for an hour each. No fruits available, but that’s for most of the country.”
A traveller from China added: “Dirty, cold, and hideous. Western prisons are more welcoming. So awful. And so much brainwashing. I really hated this hotel. No wonder so many Koreans want to finally get rid of the Kims and all of their stealing and repression.”
This isn’t exactly the type of stuff you want to have written about the nicest hotels in your entire country if you’re Kim Jong-un and trying to boost tourism. In terms of actually dissuading tourists from ever visiting North Korea I’m not sure this would ever stop anyone from visiting the country. We all know that North Korea is probably the single shittiest place on Planet Earth, and visiting there is going to be miserable. Tourists don’t visit N.K. for luxury, they do it to see what a country looks like when it’s been locked inside of a time bubble and ruled by megalomaniacs for decades, which sadly tourists probably won’t even get a good glimpse at because they’re followed by handlers the entire time they are in North Korea.