This Calculator Tells You How Many People You’ve Indirectly Been Sexually Involved With, And It’s A LOT

by 3 years ago
shutterstock_125622884

Getty Image


How many people have you had sex with? Ten. Twenty. Thirty. One hundred and thirty. You dog, you. It’s 130 isn’t it? Just a fucking machine, you are. Quite literally.

Well, if you have had sex with 130 people (way to be all sorts of rad and shit), that means that you’ve indirectly been sexually active with about 560,000,000 people.

Or at least that’s what this calculator from Lloyd’s Pharmacy is saying. Even if you’ve been a prude, and only had sex with nine people in your life (HA. 9! What a loser you are), you have still had indirect sexual contact with 3,917,918 people. And if you primarily have sex with chicks, that means that a lot of that indirect contact is with other dudes. For instance, you may have fucked Jenny this weekend, but it was really Jimmy, who Jenny fucked last Sunday, that’s responsible for giving you that patch of fire on your cock.


According to the Daily Mail:

Sexual health experts told MailOnline though it is not a diagnostic tool, the calculator, which draws on the theory of six degrees of separation, is designed to outline the importance of people ensuring they have regular STI tests.

LloydsPharmacy’s Online Doctor, Dr Gigi Taguri said: ‘Your risk of being exposed to an STI increases exponentially with each new partner.

‘But importantly it’s not just your direct partners that you have to worry about, but your partners’ partners, and their partners’ partners, and so on.

I’m sorry, Doc. All I read there was, “blah, blah, blah, gotta die from something might as well be hot, diseased sex with Jimmy’s sloppy seconds.”

That Jimmy. What a savage he is.

[H/T Daily Mail]