How much pizza do you eat in a week? I’m at least four slices a week, usually over the course of one or two sessions. When you add that up, I’m easily 200 slices of pizza a year. Probably more when you include the drunk slices I buy at 3AM on the way home from the bar. But we’re talking real, New York slices of pizza from actual mom and pop pizzerias, not the mass-produced slices that chains like Papa Johns, Dominos, and Pizza Hut put out. If I have 50 good pizza-eating years on the planet from, say, age 10 – 60, that means I’ll eat probably 10,000 slices.
Damn. That’s a lot of pizza. And at least 10% of it was drunk, $1 slices of Canyon Pizza doused in Ranch dressing while at Penn State. And that’s not counting the pokey sticks or the trips to Bells or College pizza. Then you add in my unflinching love for Grotto’s Pizza when I got to Dewey Beach and… Fuck. I eat too much pizza.
Anyway, the chain CiCi’s Pizza — home of the $6 all-you-can-eat pizza buffet — asked 1,000 Americans how much pizza they consume, creating an “average” for how many slices of pizza they eat in a lifetime. The fact this study was conducted by CiCi’s is automatically problematic; their slices are notoriously small and lousy tasting. But here are the results of the study they commissioned, via The Daily Mail:
-A nationwide survey of 1,000 adults showed that for some, a lifelong devotion to pie begins as young as two years old.
-Overall it was found that consumers eat an average of eight wedges per month, with their addiction starting at the age of eight.
-This means by the time they hit 70 they would have gobbled down an estimated 5,952 pizza slices.
-One in ten said they grabbed three slices up to three times a week, averaging a gut-busting 36 slices per month and 26,784 slices the same time frame.
-On the flavor front, lobster was revealed as the ultimate dream topping, followed by shrimp and crab.
-Filet mignon came in at fourth place, with chicken, pineapple and ham ranking close behind.
-Caviar took the tenth spot, after a rather exotic concoction of curry, coconut and kale.
-However, more than half said they would normally opt for a meat lovers pie, one in three prefer pepperoni and one in seven love mushroom.
You’re a monster if you get lobster or filet mignon on a pizza. Can’t you just be happy with the delicious grease of pepperoni and be done with it?
Oh, whatever. Pizza rules.
[H/T: Elite Daily]
Pizza slice pic via Shutterstock