These Chilling And Very Murdery Amazon Product Reviews Reportedly Belong To S.C. Murder Suspect


Suspected killer Todd Kohlhepp just answered a question I have asked my wife a thousand times. What kind of psychopath takes time out of their life to review shit on Amazon and Yelp and other similar sites? Apparently the kind of psychopath that is accused of heinous crimes. That will make me think twice the next time I read a hotel review on Trip Advisor. Why is this person complaining about “pool depth” at the Four Seasons? Who did they unsuccessfully try to drown there? 

While Kohlhepp’s alleged Amazon reviews sadly didn’t lead to his arrest (I don’t know why that is sad,  per se, just would have been a better story if they did), they do paint a picture of a deeply disturbed individual. He is a suspected murderer after all!

So how do we know these reviews are Kohlhepp’s? Well, according to Greenville Online, the same month Kohlhepp acquired 95 acres near Woodruff, S.C., in May 2014, an Amazon user named “me” with a wish list linked to “Todd Kohlhepp” began to leave chilling reviews for products the user said he had purchased. Also, look at the goddamn reviews.

That shovel review, though… “keep in car for when you have to hide the bodies and you left the full size shovel at home…does not come with a midget, which would have been nice.”

Via Greenville Online:

The Amazon user posted reviews for padlocks, tactical gear, targets, knives and gun accessories, often writing batches of reviews at various time in 2014, 2015 and 2016. The user posted a number of reviews just days before Anderson residents Kala Brown and Charlie Carver went missing in August.

Kohlhepp has been charged with kidnapping Brown, 30, of Anderson and keeping her chained by the neck and ankles for two months inside a metal storage shed on his property. Carver’s body was exhumed last week from the property and the coroner said he was shot multiple times.

What I want to know is what the fuck is a clotting sponge? Sounds like an extra absorbent feminine product for you know when.