Are you a Millennial? Are you sexually active? Then shit, motherfucker, do we have the sex survey for you!
SKYN® Condoms recently conducted a sex survey of 5,117 sexually active millennial men and women. Their findings were extensive. How extensive, you ask? Well, they sent me a 72-page Powerpoint presentation of the results. Is that extensive enough for ya?
Going to assume you nodded yes and just move right along.
Naturally, I said, “Hey SKYN, hows about I just copy and paste all this shit into BroBible and we call it a fucking day?”
Sadly, they declined that request. Pricks.
So here are some of the highlights…hand-typed against my best wishes.
Condoms… Only 39% of millennials claim to wear condoms “always” or “most of the time.” A whooping 48% claim to wear them “never” or “rarely”
Do you even jerk off, Bro?… If you’re a millennial, you do even jerk off and you jerk off a lot! According to SKYN, 88% of millennials claim to masturbate (the other 12% of millennials are pathological liars). Of those masturbators, 44% of people masturbate several times per week and 58% masturbate once a week. One whack a week, huh? LIES.
Penis Size… The average millennial penis is estimated to be 6.1-7 inches when fully aroused. The average male estimates the length of his penis when fully aroused is between 6.1-7 inches. And even the average female estimates the length of her partner’s penis when fully aroused is 6.1-7 inches as well.
Sex…Millennials think about sex more than they have sex, which, I would say, is on par with the rest of the population. Forty two percent of millennials think about sex “several times a day” but only 6% have sex “several times a day.”
Favorite position… Millennial men prefer doggy, while millennial woman prefer missionary. And although they can’t agree on their favorite, both genders ranked cowgirl as the third best position.
Orgasms… 93% of men claim they are busting that highly sought after nut during sex while 88% of females claim they are also having an orgasm during intercourse.
Sexual Fantasy… Seventeen percent of Millennials report that “strangers” is their favorite role playing scenario. Other role playing scenario categories that top the list of “shit that makes millennials moist” are strippers, schoolgirls and Fifty Shades of Grey.
Here are a few more stats that SKYN is allowing me to paste into the post. Maybe they’re not such pricks after all?