I drive a 2001 Chrysler LHS that not only has its front license plate taped on, but ALSO comes with a driver side mirror that was shittily super glued back into place. Unfortunately the glue dripped down the side of the door so it looks like my car was repaired by a brain dead infant…or my broke-ass boyfriend. In other words, no one is going to want my car when it comes time to sell it aside from Dirty Mike and the Boys.
But when it came time for David Johns to sell his 1999 Barina, instead of settling with homeless vagrants he went and took a different route, meaning he made the slickest ad ever for the shittiest car ever.
It won’t surprise you to learn that Johns is the digital director of an Australian digital ad agency, so it’s not like he got crackin’ with a pirated copy of Final Cut and barfed a bunch of Instagram filters all over the ad. That thing is MINT.
“‘This is driving, redefined,’ the video declares, as various slogans pop up on screen, demanding your attention. ‘Style redefined. Performance redefined. Luxury redefined.’ This is a crappy three-door car totally redefined. And it can be yours.
The car has only had one owner, comes with 10 months rego and as a bonus, includes matching seats. If that isn’t enough to get you to line up, how about 20th-century extras thrown in? There’s an AM/FM radio, auto-stop cassette player and an internal fan. This is a ride like no other.”
But oh no, he didn’t stop there. Not only did he make a website to sell the car http://www.buymybarina.com/ , but that Twitter hashtag, #buymybarina ? That’s what really started raking in the money offers for Johns.
I will offer you a box of crackerjacks and a gently used loofa #buymybarina
— Theo Hall (@ThenamesT) July 14, 2014
i’ve got a half eaten Mars bar and i’ll let you play with my cat for five minutes but you’re not allowed to call its name #buymybarina
— Malcolm Gordon (@malgordon) July 15, 2014
My offer: 40 gallons of unicorn tears, a basket of space kittens, one partially eaten Slim Jim, plus all the change in my sofa #buymybarina
— Bart Comstock (@SvrWxChaser) July 14, 2014
— Scruby (@dj_scruby) July 14, 2014
— Michelle Rennex (@michellerennex) July 14, 2014
$20 is more cash than I have in my wallet right now so that doesn’t sound like such a bad deal to me. Playing with a cat though? You gotta do better than that man, I’m more of a dog person.