I’m all for the live hard ‘n live fast, formative days of reasonably reckless youth; but bros–and yes, I’m lookin’ at you, you blonde-headed, blue-eyed madcapped Swedes that couldn’t leave it at that distilled Yeti jizz you call Svedka–the buck stops at fucking hand sanitizer. Whatever happened to the chase and the thrill of crackin’ an elder member’s liquor cabinet, or like scrapping together chump change to get the crew a sixer? When did some brainfucked degenerate take a pull off his classroom’s house hand sanitizer and just think, ‘damn, this right here is some top shelf, get super-swede-shithoused fire.’
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I don’t know man, but VICE reports that Sweden’s facing a current crisis of teens getting crunk as a fool that’d chase Cuervo with Unlucky No. 7 sour-mashed whiskey (trust me bro, he’s out there), on hand sanitizer.
The situation’s gone so deep down the hand-sanitized rabbit hole in Sweden, that Swedish Police Forces in Värmland have asked pharmacists in the region to straight up remove sanitizer from the floor aisle, and to restrict the product to behind-the-counter sales. According to RT, winter came, and with the harsh cold came the demand for more sanitizer by customers eager to fight off the flu (or get lit as shit..).
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Just yesterday, Swedish police official Stefan Sund told public broadcaster Swedish Radio that Swede teens are concocting poor man’s screwdrivers mixing hand sanitizer with orange juice.