Did you go to work yesterday? Because if you did, you’re an idiot. Instead of toiling away at your desk, you should have been sending your boss an email telling him/her that it’s National EataBooty Day and that you need to fill out your application to join the EataBooty Gang.
Look, I’m no expert, but I think Trick Daddy just changed the holiday game forever.
Who’s the ‘EataBootyGang’, you ask?
Not going to lie, this looks EXACTLY how I imagined the EataBootyGang would look. Not a soul in the group that you would allow to water your houseplants while you were off on vacation. Plus, they meet all of the qualifications that I needed and expected. Grizzled as hell? Check. Hand gesture that kind of resembles the Shocker? Check. One especially glowering dude wearing a pink striped Jordan hat?
Double check. Love it. Where do I sign up for the continental breakfast strip club rump roast dinner?
While I wouldn’t compare diving face-first into buttcheeks directly to the military, I do appreciate Trick’s open-door policy to joining the squad. You are clearly given the tools to be your own boss in the EataBootyGang. I was terrified that I would have to send a booty eating resume or something. Personally, I don’t think “The lights were off, we were drunk, and I couldn’t tell what was what down there!” would cut it in the application process. Glad he’s an open-minded guy.
Most likely, you have bigger concerns than the comings and goings of the EataBootyGang
Can’t argue that Trick brings up some good points here. Unkempt vaginas and elephant trunk penises don’t sound too appetizing when compared to a pristinely bleached booty. The real story of this PSA is the last line: “Bitch I’m JAKE from State Farm.” Whoa. That shit almost knocked me out of my socks. I have not a fucking clue what it means, but I pretty much need to end all of my sentences with that now.
What did we learn today? Trick loves: 1) The kids, 2) Eating booties. I’m no criminal justice major, but I wouldn’t say that those are the best two things to have side-by-side. I guess HINDsight is always 20/20.
This guy would NOT have laughed at that last line: