Uber Drivers Revealed Their Worst Horror Stories And There Are So Many Body Fluids Involved

Being a Uber driver, much like driving a taxi, has to be a very, uh, unique experience. Picking up random strangers and having to spend even five minutes with one of them sounds like a nightmare to me. But these Uber driver, they experienced real nightmares and not just the awkward social interaction that I am speaking of.

Redditor TheMentalityOfCrows sure picked a good topic for “Ask Reddit” when he or she asked, “Uber drivers, what’s your horror story?”

God bless you, Uber drivers, you’re braver souls than I.

Two guys tried to use me as a getaway car after robbing a bowling alley. They ran away before the cops showed up and as I was pulling up the cops pulled their guns on me and then put me in handcuffs. ~ jewbreast

I am doing this gig for 2 years. I have experienced crazy things. Gay guys has asked to suck my penis. A girl tried to give me a handjob while I was on freeway. Two teenagers got into fight and one was bleeding. The most scary one for me was when a girl passed out at 3 am. It was a 45 mins trip and she gave me a wrong destination before she passed out. When I got there, it was a park. When I looked at her, her bras were showing up. So, there I was at 3 in the morning trying to wake a semi nude girl. I was scared of being a victim of wrong accusations. I had no choice except to call police who showed up in 15 mins. Finally they woke her up and I drove her to her real address. I don’t drive at nights anymore. ~ crodiks

First two weekends of being an Uber driver, I had two pukers. First one and also just my fifth ride ever I picked up a way-too-drunk girl and made it within a half block of her place before she started spewing.

The other was actually an older woman and her husband. She had too much red wine, rested her head back, got the spins and puked in her lap.

First clean-up was pretty gross, second was actually very minimal, but it still sucked. I got compensation from Uber for both, but the second one took FOREVER. ~ jtsnake45

My friend is an Uber driver, he told me a horror story where 2 passengers he had, decided to give road head in the backseat. They also blew some of the load on the seat. Since then my friend has always used seat covers and floor covers. ~ fiftyshadesofsway

Former Uber driver here: Decided to try my luck with Hollywood one night after the clubs closed. When I pull up to the pick up location a stream of people start poking their heads into my car to ask if this car was theirs. I finally find the girl and she opens my passenger door, tells me to wait because she needs to find the rest of her friends. I’m blocking traffic while she is calling for her friends loudly. She drags one girl into my back seat and return to the still open front door and tells me more are coming.

At this time the police pull up behind me and use their speaker to tell me to keep moving. I tell the girl to get in so i can go around the corner, she refuses and keeps yelling for her friends. The cops get out of their car and demand i move the car or face arrest/ticketing. I tell them the girl won’t let go of the door or get in. They start yelling at her and me now to get in or let go of the door. She tells them No and that she needs her friends. Cop moves her and closes the door.

I pull away with her drunk friend and no idea where to take her. I circle the block a few times and can’t find her again. I spent a good while trying to wake this girl and get an address. She finally gives me a ruff idea of where she lives. I drive her there and find the rest of her crew standing outside of her place. I don’t bother asking what happen, I just dump her off to her friends and go home. Never doing that again. ~ TehMetaxa

I drive full time, mostly Uber but plenty of Lyft and side deals. Generally the passengers are okay, I’m huge and have their credit card on file. The real horrors are the same shit anyone driving bar closing hours would see. I average 200 miles a night, typically from 7pm to 4am, I haven’t seen anyone die yet but I see someone almost die at least once a night. Drunk drivers, no lights on the freeway, near misses, wasted college kids running into the street, police chases that don’t make the news, fender benders galore. I’m much more afraid of the strangers on the road than the strangers sitting behind me.

Boring horror story, two weeks ago I drove two young girls home around 3am on a Friday night. Quiet and polite passengers but when they get out I find they’ve literally stabbed up my back seat and dashcam review shows they were making ‘gun hand’ gestures at me during the trip. They paid for a new seat, full retail price. Attacking someone driving a car you’re in seems suicidal but drunk bitches be crazy. I watch the rear view closer now. ~ BRINGBACKTHEMACHINE

I’ve had people do coke in the backseat. I’ve had barely conscious people have strange incoherent conversations with imaginary friends in my backseat. I’ve had 5 or so heavy makeout sessions happen in my backseat. I’ve had 3 girls take pictures of their boobs on July 4th. I’ve had people take selfies of me, distracting me. I’m a “killjoy” when I tell them to stop it. I’ve had girls grab my steering wheel. I kicked them out. I’ve had people honk my horn. Adios. People that are drunk and partying expect you to be in a great mood, or else you’re a lame person ruining their experience. People blast your radio to 100% all the time. ~ OpRaider

Picked up a guy in the middle of the day from a bar, took him to a casino near by. As soon I got on the freeway some lady started tailing me and constantly beeping at me. I freaked out a little and he said “that might be my wife, don’t worry she’ll stop following soon”. She followed us for the whole 20 minute ride, non-stop beeping. Once we got there, he practically jumped out of my car and ran for the door. She followed him in her car, almost hitting him. Last thing he said to me, “don’t ever get married!” ~ Unadvisedd

Buddy drives for Uber and he’s told me some shit. He had two plastered chick’s in his car, one puked on the other causing the other to spew. There was vom all over his BMWs leather seats. Uber paid for the damage and charged the girls though. Doesn’t do Uber much anymore cuz it’s a hassle. ~ Aakumaru

I once picked up a guy from a pretty shady part of town. I knew I shouldn’t have but I did because it was slow. I take the guy a good 15 mins away and he asked me to pull up to this apartment complex in another shitty neighborhood. He asks me to wait for him to come out. Once again, I obliged against my better judgement. Guy is taking fucking forever and I was about to end the trip and leave because the denizens of this particular project were giving me dirty looks (I’m white). He comes out a few moments later with a Dora the Explorer backpack, reeked of pot, and my first thought was “Oh fuck me” I didn’t ask but I’m pretty sure it was drugs in that bag and not the nice kind. He asked me to drive back to where I picked him up. I went home after that. The thought of inadvertently contributing to the local hard drug trafficking just soured my night. ~ dhoffman10

Been driving for Uber a few months now. Nothing too extremes, just every other weekend or whenever I need a little bit of side money. But anyway, my first week driving, I’m called out to this bar to pick up a couple. They’re super friendly, ask me how I am, and all the typical stuff. But the longer they are there, the more they start whispering and laughing to each other. So, curious to what’s going on, I casually glance in my rear view mirror to see what’s going on (Quick note, the man is behind me, and the woman is behind the passenger seat.) Well, she’s giving him a hand job. Totally shocked and unnoticed, I put my eyes forward and hurry along with the ride. Luckily, they didn’t finish up or get anything in my car and I’m pretty sure they didn’t know that I saw what was going on. Pretty strange. But hey, I like to consider myself a bro. ~ Goocas

My best friend drives for Uber and last new years she picked a guy up and he was wearing full BDSM gear. His girlfriend kicked him out during foreplay and all he had was his phone to call for a ride. ~ Prannke

My two favorites, one my own the other my buddies.

I come to my stop and after a long wait, just as I am about to leave the girl who asked for the Uber comes out of the bar. She flags me down and tells me two more are coming. Then I see her two friends, one is crying her eyes out and the other is consoling her. It turns out the girl crying was rufied and her friends found her before anything bad happened. The crazy part for me was that they dragged me in to try and help convince her that it wasn’t her fault. I was totally fine to help, and I tried, but I was very unprepared to deal with this. I’m expecting people to throw up in my car not coach them through an existential crisis.

My friend told me once about a guy he picked up (as a regular cab, not Uber) and took him out to the middle of no where. The guy kept pretending like he was lost or confused and kept making him drive around. My friend eventually got him to fess up that he was dicking with him and said he had no money. My friend leaves the guy in the middle of farmland outside the city. Flash forward 2 months and the same guy gets in his cab. My buddy remembered him so he took him to the stop in town the guy asked for. Once they stopped the ass hole leaps out the car and runs away. My buddy thought ahead though, he positioned the car so the guy sort of had to go to the right when he bolted. My friend takes a quick short cut, running not driving, and cuts him off. He broke a clipboard over the guys face and then got him to pay for the far plus a $50 tip. ~ Maizemech56

One time someone put a blow up doll with two 40s duct taped to the doll’s hands in my passenger seat and said that the uber was for her. He closed the door and I just drove me and the doll to the destination. ~ patdatruth

I am an Uber Black driver. A few months back I picked up a man and woman in their 40’s from a restaurant. They were clearly not having a good time, still arguing about something. Towards the end of the ride he punches her in the face as hard as he could. When we pull up at the destination he pulls out a knife and starts to threaten her and me. I tell him to take it outside and I drive away.

I couldn’t help but feel bad for that woman so I drove to the county Sheriff dept. and told them what happened. Luckily the Uber Black cars have a camera inside that recorded the events. When the sheriff looked at the video he asked for the address and they arrested the guy. I also reported the incident to Uber, they called me and took a recorded statement by phone. ~ kripparyan

Check out the rest of the Uber horror stories over at Reddit.

Man driving image by Shutterstock

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Before settling down at BroBible, Douglas Charles, a graduate of the University of Iowa (Go Hawks), owned and operated a wide assortment of websites. He is also one of the few White Sox fans out there and thinks Michael Jordan is, hands down, the GOAT.