To clear up any confusion, coffee will not transform your tiny dick into some kind of sexy show pony that babes crave. However, according to scientists at the University of Texas, drinking coffee will make you less likely to suffer from erectile dysfunction. And that’s pretty great…if that’s something that ails you.
Those who drank between 85mg and 170mg of caffeine daily were 42 per cent less likely to report ED than those who drank none, and those who drank between 171 and 303mg of caffeine were 39 per cent less likely, researchers said.
Even men who were overweight, obese or had high blood pressure – known risk factors for ED – were less likely to suffer from the problem if they drank the equivalent of two or three cups a day.
The scientists from the University of Texas suggested that caffeine triggers a series of effects that help relax the arteries in the penis, thus increasing blood flow.
They studied data from nearly 4,000 men, and, using 24-hour dietary records, assessed the amount of coffee, tea, fizzy drinks and sports drinks they consumed on average per day.
Wait. To decrease your chances of erectile dysfunction, all you need to do is drink two cup of coffee per day? THAT’S IT? Two cups of coffee and your crippling ED is gonzo? No wonder I’ve never had this problem. I drink no less than a half gallon of java per day. Not even an exaggeration. I do it because A) at this point I need that much to function and B) because I want to see if God has the fucking balls to give me kidney stones. So far his excellency hasn’t stepped up to the plate.