Thank god for technology.
We’d never know it based on the crazy, cell phone-driven world we live in today but when men used to court women they would have to do so with pencil sharp accuracy – razor sharp precision – just to get a foot in the door.
Conversing with a girl, say 40 or 50 years ago, wouldn’t be nearly close enough to get her to write down and give you her “digits.” Rather, you’d have to jump through a series of hoops to earn her number and be able to call on her.
Nowadays, I’ve seen a friend pull a number blackout drunk and incoherently rambling about how Vince Vaughn did it in Swingers (here, watch the master at work). I’ve seen another friend get numbers from a chick he’d never even met before waiting in line at a deli.
I could keep going with real life examples but I think you get the picture – scoring her number isn’t anywhere close to as big of a deal as it was when our dads or grandfathers were growing up.
It’s no longer a privilege – a sign of opportunity for good things to come. Instead, it’s a “take a number, wait in line” type of situation where you have to hope that however you approach the next step is original enough to gain, and retain, her attention. In other words, she has a ton of suitors (you’re not the only bro she’s handed out her number to) and you have to separate yourself from the pack. That’s the hard part.
With that said, I’m sure there are many guys out there who would argue getting the number is actually the more difficult challenge. Fair enough, I didn’t say it was easy just that the bar has just been lowered.
There are some girls out there though who haven’t dropped it and hold onto their number like a sacred entity.
Besides putting in the work the old fashion way, try these seven creative ways to get her to give you her number:
1. Present a challenge that you’re confident you can complete
In other words, rig the game. If you complete the challenge, then she gives you her number. Make sure that’s a binding clause before you set out on whatever it is you’re about to do (whether its climb a building or drink another dude’s beer at the bar).
The one I always use in this situation is naming all 44 presidents from 1 to 44. It’s some weird thing I’ve memorized dating back to childhood so it’s really not a challenge at all. In fact, it’s as routine as waking up in the morning. That’s the kind of advantage you want to give yourself here: no room for error. Approach with full confidence.
The best part about this method, and I’m assuming you have a similar piece of knowledge you can use in a pinch, is that she can pull up the list of presidents on her phone to make sure I’m right. (Ah, the beauty of technology). Not only is she wowed by the fact I actually know it and I’m not blowing smoke up her ass like every other dick-hole out there, but she has her phone out. From there, it’s as simple as holding her to her word and you both exchange numbers right on the spot.
Extra bonus if you do in fact have some abstract set of information to use for this challenge, then she will be super impressed and will remember you as the “president guy” or whatever it is you show off to her. Not a bad start.
2. Bait and switch
This one is very, very simple. Take a girl you know – could be a classmate, could be a co-worker; it doesn’t matter. You’ve talked with her before and she hasn’t pushed you away with any resistance yet but you still don’t have her number. Essentially, you’re the nice guy heading toward the friend zone — and that’s OK, we’ve all been there before.
The best way to reverse course is the classic bait and switch play where you get her something she likes (say a milkshake or chocolate, whatever) and bring it to where she studies or works However, before you hand it over you dangle it in front of her – you don’t get this until I get your number.
She won’t be creeped out because the trust has built and this was the next logical step. She’ll probably laugh that you thought this outside the box just to get her number. If she does, then that’s a good sign.
If she’s hostile and doesn’t give it out, then it’s not a big deal – you’re walking home with a nice cold milkshake or some delicious chocolates. It’s a win-win really. There are always other fish in the sea.
Note: this translates to being at a bar, too. Instead of a milkshake, you obviously approach with a drink. But don’t give it to her until she coughs up the digits. If she tells you to F off, then go ahead and double fist.
3. Build an illusion of reliance
Any chicks reading this have probably already stopped, which is a good thing because they don’t need to read this scheme.
What you need to do is create a situation where they’re relying on you to get them something or do something for them (it could be getting a ride home from a party or getting booze for before the party or even taking care of something that’s work related, like a project). Whatever the case may be, make sure to hold the upper hand in the game and establish a sense of dominance. Without it, you will go bust and be right back on the prowl like you were earlier.
The key to this trick is that has to incorporate your phone or hers. That shouldn’t be too difficult seeing we’re always on them. Calling a cab, phone out. Setting an alarm, phone out. Checking an email, phone out. You get the gist.
Once the phone is out, it’s as simple as capitalizing on the moment and exchanging numbers. Say something like, “oh, you’ll need my number to call about where the party is later.” Boom. Done.
4. Buy in with a friend
I’ll be honest this is a cheap method that borders on being “creative.”
Again, it’s real simple. Take a chick that your friend knows and piggyback off that acquaintance. Of course, don’t just blurt out that you’d like her number upon meeting her. Instead, let the night develop. Have some drinks, make a plan of where you’re going and (very similar to No. 3) make her believe she’ll need your number “just in case” you three get separated.
I should note that this number gorging technique shouldn’t come at the cost of cock blocking your friend if he has her in his line of vision. However, if she’s fair game and she’s just a cool chick that he likes to hang out with, then there’s no fault in going after the number. She won’t think anything of you asking for her number after a few hours, as your friend’s prescience will reassure her that you’re a good dude.
5. Use the clock to create panic
Ah, you guessed right – it’s another illusion! In this strategy though you want to build panic through time. Unlike No. 3, you’re not playing a long con where you’re going somewhere later. Rather, it’s a very, very short con: we don’t have enough time; I’ve got to go, give me your number.
You’d actually be stunned at how much this works. If you don’t believe it, then just think about the concept of less is more. The less you say – the less you reveal about yourself – the more she will want to know about you. So if you enter her into life at the spur of a moment, have a great conversation and exit abruptly, then she’ll be lost and confused.
This is exactly what you want. I repeat: THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT YOU WANT. The more mystery, the better. If her only hope of staying in contact with you is dishing out her number, then she will do so.
It really all hinges on how quickly you connect. I don’t think a three-minute conversation on a train would be enough but 15 minutes might just be.
6. Slip her yours
Besides rigging the game and pressing the clock, I’ve actually found this to be the most effective approach.
The one and only step you have to follow: don’t ask for her number.
Enjoy whatever it is you’re doing together and before you dash off, slip her a piece of paper with your number on it. Yes, I know that girls are the ones that traditionally are supposed to do this but we live in a different world today. By giving her your number, you put the ball in her court before the game even begins. It’s the only true way to know if she’s interested in you or just toying around.
I think we’ve all been through the ringer enough to know that saving time on chicks that are just want to flirt is a virtue. This will help you cut through all the bullshit.
7. Lost phone syndrome
I’ve never done it before but I’ve seen it work, and have it lead to an actual hook up believe or not.
Pretend like you lost your phone and act quasi-manic about it, while maintaining an air of confidence. If it’s a tough juggling act that requires some serious acting chops, but if you’re good at deception then this might be right up your alley. Essentially, the gig is: I’ve just lost my phone, can I borrow yours to call it.
There’s absolutely no guarantee that this will lead to any further conversation but you will have her number in your phone when it’s all said and done. And that is a starting point.
Oh, and don’t forget to leave your phone somewhere – like with a friend or on a table nearby. If it’s in your pocket and she sees that, she’ll run away.