Hey, do you like grocery shopping for ginger mojito Kombucha and quinoa chia seed sweet potato chili, BUT also like getting a quote from Nietzsche tattooed on your rib cage? Well you just might be in fucking luck because Whole Foods is contemplating going all-in on attracting millennials by putting tattoo parlors and record shops in their grocery stores.
To compete against the hipster-oriented Trader Joe’s, Whole Foods Market Inc. Co-Chief Executive Officer Walter Robb is thinking outside the Tofurky box.
From USA Today:
Whole Foods has advertised that it’s looking to find suppliers and vendors to set up shop in its 365 stores through a program called “Friends of 365.” The new chain’s website says shoppers may see other businesses, such as body-care product sellers, record shops and tattoo parlors, inside 365 stores and on its outdoor patios.
Can you imagine?
“Hey sweetie, while you pick out your $12.99 bottle of cold-pressed juice, I’m going to see if they have Miles Davis’ ‘Kind of Blue,’ Grizzly Bear’s ‘Veckatimest’ and Aesop Rock’s ‘Bazooka Tooth’ on vinyl, then get a tattoo with a compass or mountains to express my wanderlust to everyone.”
Let’s not even get into the health dangers of having human blood splatter 50-feet and land on your chirimoya fruit and your black mission figs from Croatia. One way ticket to Hepatitis City.