“Ask Reddit” once again proved that it is one of the most entertaining (and frightening) corners of the Internet over the weekend. This go-round sees people answering yet another fascinating question related to sex: “What’s the worst thing that has happened to you during sex?”
The mind boggles at the possibilities with a question like this considering the TMI nature of some of the answers we’ve seen in the past. As usual, the respondents once again came through with some fascinating anecdotes.
Here are some of the highlights…
A police woman knocked at my door with my younger brother in custody. I hastily put on my jeans and a shirt, but I had to sit down and talk to her for a good 15 minutes while underneath my jeans, I still had a condom on. ~ Aioni
I am allergic to coconut. Mainly coconut oil. My new girlfriend (at the time) went out to get a Brazilian for our first night together. She used coconut oil lotion to sooth her sensitive area, which then caused me to swell up very badly in the middle of the deed.
Lemme tell you, having to go to the ER with your girlfriend of a few short weeks and insist on holding your hand while a nurse jams a GIANT fucking needle in your dick to drain out your blood was not the way I wanted to spend that evening… ~ jewman9000
My knees used to dislocate frequently during sex for a few years after an accident. Nothing kills the mood like having to kick your knee back in place and scream like a child. ~ TheT0KER
I was in the middle of having sex with a guy months ago, he started laughing and said, “sorry, I can’t stop thinking about Bee Movie.” I’m still dating him. ~ marimaru
My dad came in and lectured me and my boyfriend about smoking upstairs for at least 5 minutes. My room was dark and my boyfriend was in me. I was mortified. My dad just didn’t give a shit cause he was drunk and felt like yelling. So. Horrific. ~ luv4vinyl
As I was sucking his cock, he forcefully pushed on the back of my head, triggering my gag reflex, while saying “You’re okay, you’re okay…” Then, “oh you’re not okay,” as I vomited on his dick. Highly unpleasant. ~ sincere_pugilist
So my gf had come to visit for the weekend (we go to separate unis) and we’d planned on going to the aquarium that day to get out of the house. Anyway, we were going at it first thing, before we left, and my gf knocks a glass from the beside table on to the floor, which smashes. We choose to ignore it and worry about it after. Gf says she wants to move to different side of room so we get up and I cross the room avoiding the glass. She doesn’t. Gets a half inch long dagger stuck in her foot. Blood everywhere. Being a relatively understocked student house we’ve got no medical supplies, but a fair bit of booze. Had to phone a mate to get him to bring round some bandages while sterilising the gf’s foot with vodka. Gf found the whole thing hilarious, and still really wanted to go to the aquarium, so I end up phoning ahead and asking if they had a wheelchair, which they were more than happy to provide. All in all, top day.
Tl;Dr: gf stepped in glass while having sex, went to aquarium in a wheelchair. ~ monopolish
A while ago I had bought this bed frame from Ikea but was too cheap to buy the bed slats that were like $150 so I decided to cut some 2x4s and place them on the railing. Well a combination of me cutting them too short and not screwing in the side rails tight enough caused the 2x4s to fall off and the bed followed with it.
I was on top of a girl at the time when the bed slammed onto the floor and I headbutted my gf at the time right in the face breaking her nose and giving her a black eye. That was awkward trying to explain to people. ~ Kolipe
She was giving me the first blowie of the relationship and right when I came I farted . A big, juicy wet fart. It smelled awful. She wasn’t pleased. ~ AnalHematoma
Girl on top, me on my back and we are going at it. As she is riding me the bed is bumping into the wall. Suddenly I hear something shift above me and tilt my head up and back just in time to see her 4’x2’x5″ shelf fall off the wall and crash into my face breaking my nose. Blood starts to gush and fill my throat and I reactively cough, spitting blood all over this girl who is still riding me. She sits there, stunned, covered in blood that I just sprayed on her, with me under her still bleeding like a stuck pig, looking like some sort of Rob zombie sex tape.
4/10, didn’t get to finish. ~ songpool5
When I was 20 (over 20 years ago now) I was home during a college break. My longtime girlfriend went to a different school, so when we were together we fucked like rabbits.
This Friday night my girlfriend came over to my parent’s house and they seemed to stay up for ever. Finally they went to bed and said girl and I started making out in the sunken living room floor. I had the sense to turn out all the lights, grab a blanket we got under, and we got naked. About 15 seconds into “doing it” the kitchen light came on and my mom appeared. She started doing dishes.
I’m half-poke in my girlfriend, under a blanket, in a dark sunken living room. She and I are being as quiet as we can and both watching her do dishes.
My mom bends over and let’s out the loudest fart I’m certain I’d heard to date. My girlfriend the says “WAS THAT YOUR MOTHER?” To which mom turns out all lights and goes upstairs. ~ stewpidbeatch
One time, my boyfriend was finishing in my mouth and I decided to go deeper. I guess I breathed in or something because cum shot out of my nose. It was awkward but the funniest thing I have experienced during sex. ~ egracef
The girl sneezed while giving me a blowjob and almost bit my dick off. ~ MushroomMountain123
Annnd I think that’ll do for today. No way we can top that.
Check out the rest of the answers as well as the equally as frightening comments over at Reddit.
Couple image by Shutterstock