Oh Sweet We’re Gonna Release Mutant Mosquitos Into The Wild To Try And Bone The Zika Virus Out Of Existence

The Zika virus, which we only learned about yesterday, but which is now pretty much in every country in the Western Hemisphere, is already beginning to sound like a bad SyFy movie.

For starters, the disease causes zombie babies (technical note: it does not), which seems like something you learn in Lazy Scriptwriter 101 at the University of Phoenix.

Now, to combat the disease? They’re gonna release mutant mosquitos into the wild. I mean, talk about your hackneyed plot twists. Not only did they do the same thing in the prequel, I can just hear the stilted dialogue coming out of the piss poor set design team’s efforts at a Situation Room:

Mr. President: Release the mutant mosquitos.

General: But Mr. President!

Mr. President: Dammit, I said release the mutant mosquitos.

Although, here’s something you didn’t see coming. They’re tryna fuck their way out of the problem.

Genetically modified male mosquitoes were released in parts of Piracicaba city in Southern Brazil as a pilot project in April 2014. Studies have shown that these GM mosquitoes have reduced the wild mosquito population by 82% in areas covered under the pilot project.

The city now plans to expand the program to other neighborhoods. Oxitec, a company that breeds genetically modified (GM) mosquitoes, is opening a factory in Piracicaba to produce millions of genetically modified mosquitoes after getting approval from Brazil’s National Biosafety Committee for releases throughout the country.

The mosquitoes produced by Oxitec are genetically modified so that when mated with wild-type mosquitoes they produce larvae that don’t make it to adulthood.

So basically they bone ladies with shitty sperm that forces them to give birth to bug miscarriages?

Fuck it, I’m in.

[Via Digital Journal]