Jim Fassel Offers Hottest Super Bowl Take Yet, Blames Cam Newton’s Gold Warmup Cleats On Carolina Loss

In what may put the final nail in the coffin of the truly hottest takes on Cam Newton and the Super Bowl, former Giants coach Jim Fassel has come out of the woodwork with some of the dumbest shit you’ll ever hear. Apparently, Cam’s pregame warmup cleats are now to blame for his poor play and Carolina’s ultimate loss to Denver in Super Bowl 50.

What??? Here’s Fassel:

“All of the numbers pointed to Carolina. And when I saw Cam Newton walk out in gold shoes — ‘MVP’ — I switched my mind, essentially, right then. I said, ‘That’s not what a starting quarterback, MVP, leading his team — and I had a lot of respect for him during the season — that’s not what happens.’ You don’t do that. And I said, ‘This guy’s already become soft,’ and that’s what he was.”

I really only have one question: What in THE hell is Jim Fassel talking about? Going by this logic, which really isn’t logic at all, why didn’t Cam’s pro wrestling pants change Fassel’s mind when the team boarded the plane for San Francisco? What a weirdo.

Had Carolina lost to Arizona in the NFC Championship, Fassel probably would’ve come out and said Cam put too much pressure on his teammates by wearing their names on his feet.

This is honestly the strangest assessment I’ve ever heard for swaying someone’s opinion so strongly. Essentially, Jim Fassel was ALL-IN on the Panthers until he saw Cam’s warmup cleats.

Jim Fassel needs a nap.


Writer, Editor, Comedian, and Fashion Critic. Currently in heated negotiations over the rights to Jack Sikma's striking perm and a mold of Kareem Abdul-Jabbar's glorious goggles.