Let's get into the weird, because for someone as buttoned-up as Battier, the event provided a lot of weird. Pat Riley and Jimmy Buffett sang Marvin Gaye, for one. All that's left is a 10-second clip, about as long as it needs to be before the cringe becomes too much:
Then there was Chris Bosh's “It's Not Unusual,” ruined by a complete lack of audience attention. Look at the asshole texting! No one wanted wanted to see Bosh do the Carleton. 🙁
LeBron broke out his falsetto for “Blurred Lines.” (At this point, I should say there are like 45 more videos out there depicting the event. As Grantland's Rembert Browne said, “I’ve been unable to locate an official program for BATTIOKE 2014, but from the number of videos that exist, the event appeared to be 17 hours long.”)
And I… I don't know what the fuck is happening here: Shane Battier, Greg Oden, and Ken Jeong sang “I Want It That Way.” Ken Jeong. Just happened to be there with Jimmy Buffett. Only in South Beach.
In conclusion, Battioke is awesome.
[H/T: SI Point Forward]