LSU Dropped $28 Million On An Insane New Locker Room And I Think I Want To Play College Football Now

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Last week, the Florida Gators decided to do a little bit of stunting when the school revealed it’d dropped a cool $1.5 million on a new locker room and, to its credit, it looked like the program put the money to pretty good use.

If I was a prospective football player, there’s no doubt I’d be drawn in by the promise of plush recliners, bigass televisions, and sexy lighting—at least until I paid a visit to LSU.

Over the weekend, the Tigers decided to pull down their pants and take a belated piss all over the parade of their fellow SEC school when they also unveiled some new facilities they’d dreamed up as part of a $28 million project.

If you’re not a fan of getting spontaneous boners in a public place, you might want to head to a more secluded setting before you keep scrolling, as this is pure, unadulterated sex.

It’s safe to say players were fairly pleased by this new development.

According to CBS Sports, one of the most notable innovations are the lockers themselves, which are capable of turning into sleeping pods inspired by first-class airplane travel that each come stocked with iPads for game film and multiple charging ports that seem to be all the rage with the kids these days.

I’m really glad I decided to save my four years of eligibility by not being talented enough to play football when I originally went to college because it looks like I’m going to have to figure out a way to find my way onto an LSU roster at some point in the near future.