Jay Skyler / Unsplash
I don’t think I’ve been inside of a gas station in months. I’m always in a hurry to get somewhere and I pay for my gas at the pump and head out. But I still have a crystal clear picture of what pretty much every gas station checkout counter in America looks like.
There is a ‘give a penny/take a penny’ change jar, some Slim Jims, a display of scratch-off lottery tickets, and behind or underneath the counter there’s an array of cheap cigars and boner pills. These over-the-counter erection pills often have a rack somewhere near where the condoms are sold on an aisle without candy so that kids don’t walk by and see these strange adult products. It’s the same at every gas station in America, isn’t it?
As it turns out, your neighbor Rick isn’t the only person who has a serious problem with these over-the-counter dong pills. Major League Baseball sent out a memo this week about the ‘very real risk’ of these gas station erection pills.
This came after two players in the past year have tested posted for PEDs after banned substances were found in their urine and it was caused by these unregulated erection supplements, according to a report from ESPN’s Jeff Passan. According to the report, the use of thse unregulated boner-inducing pills are widespread through professional baseball:
The use of over-the-counter pills, which are often sold at gas stations, is prevalent among baseball players, according to multiple sources. It prompted the league to send out a memo on Monday that outlines the risk of consuming non-NSF-certified supplements.
The memo, obtained by ESPN, warns that “these products are often contaminated with prohibited and unsafe ingredients” and that players are subject to discipline even if they inadvertently ingested a banned substance.
“Sexual or male enhancement products present a very real risk for drug-tested players,” the memo said, “and the high likelihood for contamination or unidentified ingredients in these products underscores the importance of consuming only those products that are NSF Certified for Sport.” (via)
It’s almost unfathomable to me that professional athletes WHO KNOW they are subject to frequent and random drug tests are willing to spend a few bucks on unregulate boner pills when there’s really no telling of what might be in those pills. If I’m making millions of dollars and that can disappear in an instant due to a failed drug test then I’m going to be 100% certain of what’s in the pills I’m ingesting.
The memo goes on to talk about knowing FOR SURE that there are steroids in this dick pills:
“We know from experience,” the league memo said, “that a number of these sexual or male enhancement products — which are sold online, at retail stores, and on the black market, both in the United States and internationally — contain anabolic steroids and other prohibited substances.
“For this reason,” the memo continued, “we strongly urge players against taking any sexual or male enhancement product, from any source.” (via)
Where do we even begin to unpack this?
Are these pro athletes taking these pills because they’re having trouble getting it up? Or are they taking them because of the presence of steroids in them and ‘gas station erection pills’ was probably a pretty easy excuse to sell if you test positive.
‘Officer, what are you talking about?! I didn’t know there was cocaine in this straw. I was just breathing through this straw because it helps open my nostrils! I’m not guilty because I didn’t even know it was stuffed full of cocaine!’
If you want to read the full ESPN report on these erection pills you can click here to visit ESPN.