If I were a betting man, I’d throw down $100 that the MMA fighter plastered head-to-toe with tattoos in this video is using all that ink to overcompensate for something. I don’t know what that thing is (small wiener? awful childhood? too many potential relationships that were ended because of his creepiness?), but I get a real War Machine vibe and, as I think we can all agree, fuck War Machine.
This guy starts aggressively shit-talking his opponent at a press conference/weigh-in event. But the next day, in the octagon, he’s served a steaming hot plate of crow when his opponent knocks him the fuck out in 20 seconds. Here’s the best breakdown of the fight I’ve read so far:
Dude, that opener + combo was a work of art.
Right feint, left ready, sees the guard go up, shoves the left in there, follows it up a combo to make sure he can’t afford to put his guard down, right hook, left hook, right uppercut, left — just kidding! Right hook. Change it up, make your opponent frustrated and impatient.
Tattoo man wants to look, he wants to peek, you don’t take six hits blind with nothing to show for it. Ben waits for the peek, and shoves another left in there, this time an uppercut, following with an opportune right hook to take advantage of the weakened guard as it moves inward, over compensating for the uppercut that was just received.
Tattoo man realizes his mistake, and solidifies his guard again — but wait, we’ve seen this pattern before! You don’t win fights in a ball guarding all day!
Ben’s been building this guy up. Tattoo man hasn’t gotten a single SWING out, let alone a solid hit. Ben knows he’ll want to make a move soon, so he pauses, just for half a second. Where previously he had driven half a dozen punches in to make sure no room was given, he waits this time. Ben knows the timing perfectly. Tattoo man takes the bait, there, the guard is dropping, right arm is swinging back, this is going to be big, but fatally slow to start! Ben’s faster, he already sees how this will play out. Duck and weave, quick left disrupts the knock out haymaker, veers it off course, and the motion he’s practiced thousands of times puts him under now-wild right. Tattoo man hits air, can’t adjust his momentum, he’s vulnerable, he’s open! Bam, right hook straight into the jaw, lights out. Insurance left misses, target’s already down.
TL;DR Ben’s a cold-hearted, calculating bastard.
All those tats may make you look tough, but they don’t actually make you tough. Sucks to suck. Poetic justice, sometimes, is a beautiful thing.