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Earlier this year, a high school baseball player in New Mexico ended up in hot water after being accused of peeing in the cold water being stored inside an opposing team’s cooler. It seemed like he’d end up facing criminal charges, but it sounds like he’s going to walk away with a clean record after prosecutors determined he somehow didn’t break any laws.
At the risk of being That Guy who incorporates John Locke into an article about a high school baseball player peeing in a water cooler, that philosopher posited the codified laws that dictate how society runs are built on a foundation of the natural laws that essentially boil down to a largely unspoken moral code most reasonable people would agree to.
Now, I might be jumping to conclusions, but I think “don’t pee in something that someone else is going to drink” is a pretty universally agreed-upon rule people should follow.
However, that didn’t stop a 16-year-old baseball player on the junior varsity team at Rio Rancho High School in New Mexico from (allegedly) relieving himself in a water cooler reserved for the squad from La Cueva High School ahead of a game toward the end of March.
The player in question was initially charged with 15 counts of battery, but according to KRQE, the district attorney handling the case has decided to drop the charges after discovering there isn’t actually a statute on the books prohibiting the behavior he engaged in.
Chief Deputy District Attorney Jessica Martinez explained the decision to reverse course this week by saying:
“In New Mexico, battery consists of the unlawful touching of another person in a rude and insolent manner. So, in this case, we don’t have any touching of another person.
New Mexico doesn’t have a statute that makes it criminal for someone to mess with someone else’s food and/or pee in a water bottle. While the act is gross and not right…it’s not a crime in New Mexico.”
Now, at the risk of also being That Guy who insists on incorporating Better Call Saul into any article regarding New Mexico’s legal system, I can’t help but note this seems like the kind of loophole he’d sniff out to exonerate a client.
I also don’t think this revelation is going to cause a spike in the number of people going out of their way to pee in other people’s drinks because they know they can get away with it, but this seems like an issue that should probably be addressed at some point.