You see, Hunter and Moran aren't exactly Nerlens Noel and Ben McLemore. They're two friends a few years out of college who've gone through several failed attempts at playing amateur ball, and, now, they've employed each other as agents, created a website called “We Declare,” and told the NBA: “Get ready.” Their bios are hilarious:
ANDREW HUNTER is a copywriting student at Miami Ad School (Brooklyn). He is a semi-pro oyster shucker and retired tour manager. His basketball experience, though limited, ended on a high point with a win in the 1997 Metairie Playground 10 Year Old Championship. Hunter finished with 4 points and a bounce pass assist, as the well-coached Hurricanes topped the division rival Trojans 16-12.
While he has no real preference as to when he is drafted, he politely requests not to be drafted by the Houston Rockets.
NICK MORAN first disappointed his father at the age of three when he accidentally walked through wet paint in the kitchen. He later forgave the boy. However what Nick's father could never forgive was Nick's inability to shoot a reliable three ball. “You're a Moran. You should be able to knock 'em down all over the court,” he'd say after each year's basketball tryouts ended in failure.
Now, at 25 years young, Nick Moran — formerly of the University of Miami — is seeking to prove the haters, the League, and his father wrong by swishing trifectors in an NBA arena near you.
Believe it or not, this story goes deeper than just a couple of goofs who made a website, hit up several notable members of the press (including us, natch), and waited out two rounds of the draft without a call. They've actually received a response from NBA Vice President Andy Taub, who told that that, since they graduated in 2010, they're ineligible for the draft.
No, really, here's the letter, via AOL:
So Taub did say that Hunter and Moran could be signed as free agents. All they need is a GM is dumb enough to hire them.
A GM dumb enough…. It just… might… work.
DAMNIT, David Kahn. You left us too soon.