Jaden Smith Is Suing A Mayonnaise Company, Plus The Winklevoss Twins Are Still Betting Big On Bitcoin

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“I have to thank my executive team from stopping me from being a fool.”

Elon Musk on the decision to build the Model Y with significant inspiration from the Model 3. That Elon. What a fool.

Market Snapshot

  • The Dow closed above 22k for the first time, pushed by strong Apple earnings.
  • Tesla beat earnings and shares ended up 7.40% in after-hours.
  • Treasuries rose after a rumored Fed balance sheet “unwind” as early as the fall.
  • The Dollar dropped to a 15-month low on speculation of further rate hikes.

Winklevoss or Winklevii?

Ah, the Winklevoss twins. Harvard alumni, Olympic rowers, infamous arch nemeses of Mark Zuckerberg and now, Bitcoin entrepreneurs?

The twins and their investment firm Gemini just reached an agreement with CBOE Holdings to sell Bitcoin market data (prices, trading volatility, etc).

You’re probably wondering “Who the hell is CBOE Holdings?”

Don’t worry, we’ve got you.

CBOE Holdings is the owner of the Chicago Board Options Exchange (the largest options exchange in the U.S. with over one billion contracts traded each year).

On the exchange, traders take positions in financial instruments like options, futures, ETFs and FX products and spend hundreds of millions in fees to do so.

CBOE exchange? Bitcoin market data? What are you up to Winklevii?!

It’s feels obvious at this point, but first, a confession: this isn’t their first rodeo. The Winklevii are Bitcoin connoisseurs, if you will.

In 2013, they claimed to own 1% of all Bitcoins in existence, and just this year, they tried to introduce the first Bitcoin exchange-traded fund (ETF) to the market. Unfortunately, the SEC wasn’t buying it.

Now, the two-headed monster is back at it, looking to capitalize on the $100 billion digital currency market.

And this time not with ETFs, but rather futures

If the SEC gives its blessing, the CBOE will introduce Bitcoin futures by the end of 2017.

Let’s remember—futures contract are used to buy or sell at a predetermined price at some point in the future. This type of instrument can be extremely useful when trading extremely volatile products, like…I don’t know…Bitcoin.

So, as swings in the currency send it from $2,900 to $2,650 and back again, investors would now be able to lock in future rates, allowing them to hedge against price fluctuation or speculate on price direction.

This would be a major step forward for Bitcoin and the standardization of cryptocurrencies in general.

Well done, Winklevii. Well done.

Amazon Jobs Day

What’s the only way to top the deals on Amazon Prime Day? Just start handing out jobs.

Yesterday, potential candidates lined up outside warehouses from Baltimore, Maryland to Kent, Washington seeking 1 of 50,000 part-time and full-time Amazon job openings.

Here’s the kicker—if you were a good fit, you got the job. On the spot.

The jobs entail everything from packaging to shipping and come bundled with full salaries and medical benefits. Meaning, Amazon is clearly committed to a not-so-robotic workforce despite increasing automation in fulfillment centers by 50% in 2016.

The best news? Even if you missed the big day, Amazon still plans on hiring 50,000 more by mid-2018. Get those resumes ready.


It’s bold. It’s fearless. It’s…the Dow Jones. And yesterday, with a nudge from Apple’s strong earnings, it hit 22,000. If you haven’t been keeping tabs, the Dow has been on quite the bender this year.

Here’s the recap:

November 8th, 2016: The Dow is sitting right below 18,000 (also the day President Trump is elected)

November 22nd, 2016: The Dow hits 19,000

January 25th, 2017: The Dow hits 20,000

March 1st, 2017: The Dow hits 21,000

August 2nd, 2017: The Dow hits 22,000

These past few months, the real MVP has been Boeing, which has contributed almost 400 points to the Dow’s most recent 1,000 point run. In second is McDonald’s with 171, and third, UnitedHealth Group with 161.

So as we pop the champagne and celebrate 22k, let’s just hope that what goes up most definitely does not come down.

Just Cause

What do water, Jaden Smith and eggless mayo all have in common? Absolutely nothing. Until now.

Hampton Creek, a health food startup plagued by scandals of false product promotion and Uber-esque C-suite exodus, is now being sued by the one and only Jaden Smith. Seriously, this story writes itself.

Jaden, the kilt-wearing, self-proclaimed modern day prophet is also the cofounder of Just Goods, a fully recyclable bottled water startup.

Okay…what’s the connection?

Hampton Creek-branded products have a simple logo. Take its mayo, for example. The bottle used to say “just” in small cursive writing on the top and MAYO in big font below.

But now, in its effort to leave the past in the past, Hampton has rebranded. The only difference? That small “just” has been replaced by a BIG “just”—allegedly creating a ton of confusion with Just Goods’ brand.

So, not only is Hampton Creek now infringing on a prior arrangement with Just Goods to keep the “just” cursive and small, but this adds to an already ugly pile of controversy that looms over Hampton’s head.

No wonder this thing is going to court. The lesson? Don’t mess with Jaden.

What Else Is Happening…

  • Qatar withdraws its decision to take a stake in American Airlines.
  • Uniqlo is installing vending machines that sell clothes in airports around the U.S.
  • Scientists successfully edited human embryo genes to repair a serious disease-causing mutation.
  • Hyperloop One completed a successful test run on its Nevada test track, reaching a top speed of 192 mph.

Economic Calendar

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Water Cooler

The Back Burner

Chickens are laying eggs like juiced-up pez dispensers these days. It’s great for us (the consumers), but terrible for companies like Cal-Maine Foods (the producers).

Two years ago, a case of avian influenza sparked the worst chicken-pocalypse in U.S. history (killing 34 million egg-laying hens). The result? Far fewer eggs than our kale-mushroom omelettes demanded.

Over the past few years, egg suppliers like Cal-Maine have been making up for two years of subpar breakfasts by restocking the coups and bringing egg production back to record levels.

Slight issue, though. Eggs no longer appear to be the breakfast of choice, sending egg prices 45% lower—a decade low.

So, here’s the scenario:

Grocers are salivating over a carton of eggs worth less than a dollar.

Suppliers are eating the costs and the results are showing.

Cal-Maine, the largest U.S. egg supplier, just posted its first loss in over a decade, and it probably has something to do with the U.S. egg laying population sitting at a record high—319 million chickens high. That’s almost a chicken a person.

If you’re looking to save some money (and perhaps some producers), drive to ShopRite, grab yourself a few shopping carts and have yourself a day.

The Breakroom

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Question of the Day

A basket contains red, blue and green marbles in a 2:3:5 ratio. If there are 9 more green than red marbles, how many more green marbles than blue marbles does the basket contain?

A. 3

B. 5

C. 6

D. 8

(Give Up?)

Who Am I?

  1. I never finished college and started my career building databases for the CIA.
  2. I cofounded and was CEO of the second largest software company by revenue.
  3. Forbes listed me as the 5th wealthiest person in America and 7th in the world.
  4. I made a brief cameo in Marvel’s Iron Man 2.

(Any guesses?)

Stat of the Day

$1.7 billion

The highest price ever paid for a single office tower in the UK (London’s “Walkie Talkie” skyscraper). The offer comes from Hong Kong’s Lee Kum Kee International Holdings.

Just months before, the group purchased London’s “Cheesegrater” tower for $1.5 billion.*

*That was a joke.