This Stupid App For Angsty College Kids Is The Most Unintentionally Hilarious Thing I’ve Seen All Day

By 09.03.14

secret

Do you like to complain about your first world problems? Have your recent feelings been comparable to songs from bands like All Time Low and Taking Back Sunday? Do you have no friends and feel the need to vent on the Internet? Well YOU’RE IN LUCK, because the angstiest college kid app is called Secret, and it’s full of “confessions” that aren’t actually “secrets.” Get ready to lose your eyes in the back of your heads guys, because you won’t be able to stop rolling ’em.

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Yes, because things like cell phones, Skype, text messaging, Facebook and Snapchat do not exist.

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This, kids, is what we call “natural selection.”

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Such angst. Much whine. So. Emotion.

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 Sure, but that doesn’t mean you can go out on the quad crawling on all fours and eating dog shit without people thinking you’re a fucking weirdo.

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PLOT TWIST.

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Not with that boner-iffic attitude you won’t.

 

The only useful “secret” on the whole college portion of the website?

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That’s actually crucial. No one likes pooping in crowded places.

[Images via Secret]


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