College Students Shared The Most NSFW Thing That Happened In Their Dorm And Let’s Just Say There’s A LOT Of Nudity

by 2 years ago
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The craziest thing to ever happen in my dorm freshman year was that I came home one night to hear my roommate screaming at her boyfriend over Skype. The doors to our rooms were made out of what seemed like solid wood and were 2-3 inches thick, so while I was impressed that her lungs hadn’t popped from the overexertion it sucked because I had to go kill time somewhere else while she let her ovaries explode all over the guy.

As you can see, my dorm sucked.

But the people who posted in the Reddit thread “College Students/Graduates of Reddit, what’s the craziest thing you’ve ever witnessed in your dorm/residence hall?” clearly had more interesting dorm lives than I did:

2 things, same dude:

we had a guy who’s room was at the end of the hall so it had a little extra space next to his door. A little alcove. We had tour groups come through our dorm with prospective students and their families. Well on one of those days he tore out a bunch of pics from his playboys and posted them all over his door and on the walls outside his room. He took 3 chairs from the common room and put them outside his room as well. He then had a sign that said “The Bitches and Hoes Waiting Room”. A mother went absolutely ballistic when she saw that. He got into deep shit for it too.

a few months later when another tour group came through, our RA Bill, who was a total asshole, was giving kind of a speech to the highschoolers and their families. So our buddy “fell” out of his room in just his boxers and his hands tied behind his back with a sock in his mouth. He spit the sock out and started yelling “BILL! UNTIE ME! THIS ISN’T FUNNY!!!” Our RA was humiliated, the parents went absolutely nuts over it.

Our buddy was kicked out later that day

Across the hall from me lived Ron and Todd (not their real names, but who cares). They were…not a good match. Ron was basically a fat hippie, and Todd was on the football team. The funny thing about was that it was Todd who drove Ron crazy, not the other way around–Todd basically didn’t care about Ron’s antics, but Ron couldn’t stand sharing his dorm room with a straight edge.

So after a few months, Ron cooks up a plan to get Todd out of the room. And this is how it goes down, based on Todd’s story about what actually happened. One night, middle of the night, Todd wakes up. The blinds in the room have been pulled open, and it’s light enough to see in the room. Ron is standing in the middle of the room, naked, painting a huge mural on the wall that has the door on it. As Ron moves from area to area to paint, he skipps and quietly sings to himself. Ron also paints himself. Little paint for the wall, little paint for Ron. After 5+ minutes of watching this scene from his bed with growing disbelief and horror, Todd says something, and Ron turns slowly to face Todd, skips over to Todd’s bed, kisses Todd full on the lips, and says “go back to sleep Todd, you’re dreaming.” Todd is just sleepy enough to find this somewhat convincing, so he rolls over. Also, what else is he going to do? Fight his naked, paint-covered roommate?

The next morning, Todd wakes up. And there’s no mural anywhere in the room. No paint on the floor, no paint on any of Ron’s bedclothes, and Ron is fast asleep in his bed, wearing a tshirt. Todd wakes Ron up and asks if anything…odd was going on in their room last night. Ron replies that he had a chem test that wiped him out, so he just came straight home and went to bed and had been asleep until Todd woke him up.

So now Todd doesn’t know what the funk to think, but the best answer appears to be that he had a homoerotic dream about his roommate being a painting satyr. So Todd nopes the fuck out of the dorm room and gets reassigned. It made no sense to the rest of us either, until much later when we were having a beer in Ron’s room. He asked us if we wanted to see something cool. Sure, we did. So he shut off all the lights and then turned on a lamp hidden near his bed–with a blacklight. All the sudden, a massive, glowing mural appeared on the wall with the door on it. And all over Ron’s sheets and comforter. And Ron just started laughing his fool ass off.
And that’s how Ron got a room to himself.

I was an RA. I had 8 residents trap a raccoon and bring it into their dorm to “domesticate” it. Guess what happens when you let a Raccoon in the dorm? It fucks shit up.

Lived in a 21 floor tower, something like 1600 students lived in it. 4 guys decided to have a jam session in an elevator and go up and down the building – had drums, guitar, saxophone, and vocalist. I think every single floor wanted to murder them.


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