Kristen Wiig’s Horrific Character Reveals Her Secret to Staying Young in New ‘Zoolander 2’ Trailer

Welcome to the “House of Atoz Booty Labia Tory.”

It seems as if the core of upcoming Zoolander 2’s focus is on modern day society’s obsession with slowing down/reversing the effects of aging by using intensive, sometimes morally questionable, but definitely insane methods. Yeah, we’re talking about methods used today in real goddamn life that range from shooting up with bee venom, to bird facials. Anything in the name of vanity man. Kristen Wiig who plays Alexanya Atoz shows us the crazies just haven’t dared to dream mad enough yet.

Apparently youth-milk injections are the essential ingredient to achieving that reptilian horror mask you see in the promo, sputtering back in some sort of incomprehensible alien tongue at you. Strolling the harsh-lit white floor she shows you what your underachieving duckface could be if you shoved enough meth up your ass in addition to wiping down that mean mug you call a face with an anal rag every other day, while injecting yourself with Gollum saliva.

At least we know what happened to Deadpool now.