EMTs Remove Penis Ring After Guy Gets Stuck In It For ‘A Couple Days’ And How Did You Get The Beans Above The Frank?!?

Frank And Beans Something About Mary

The number of WTF? moments in this story

Doctors trying to remove a metal penis ring from a man’s testicles after it got stuck for “a couple of days” were forced to call in firefighters with a GRINDER.

You know you’re in trouble when a doctor doesn’t know what the fuck to do in an emergency medical situation. “Um, maybe we rub it with butter? I don’t know. Call the fire department!”

“To put it in layman’s terms, he tried to put his veg in the ring as well but it stopped the circulation and became stuck”, a fireman told the Evening Standard.

It’s a cock ring not a “cock and more” ring, dude.

Firefighters said the man’s privates were “swollen and a funny colour” after the sex aid stopped the circulation.

Quite possibly the most “yeah, no shit!” statement ever made.

The man reportedly contacted emergency services after attempting to cut the ring off himself.

Never. Don’t ever. Never attempt to cut something off your own dick.

Crews had to bring in a metal cutter, normally used to free people from crashed cars, to release the man’s privates.

And don’t let anyone else do it either. They don’t deserve it. They don’t get paid enough. Just die.

[via The Sun]

Howling at the moon and devouring human flesh since 1994.