Meet The Time-Travelling Teen On Tinder Who Says He’s Met Kurt Cobain

by 3 years ago
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Before you scoff, and I know you came here simply to scoff, you cynical bastard, hear this teen out. Teens are capable of amazing things, and this one on Tinder claims he’s capable of travelling through time.

Sure, right now even the smartest minds are incapable of overcoming the paradoxes inherent in time travel, but maybe that’s because their brains are too conditioned. They are thinking the wrong things. A teen is a blank slate. A teen doesn’t know about quarks and quasars. A teen doesn’t care if the universe is infinite or finite. A teen just wants to impress a chick on Tinder so he can bone.

And you’d be amazed at the lengths I went to have sex when I was young. I would climb mountains just to ejaculate, so it’s not entirely implausible that a teen would unearth the secrets of time travel and use it to go back to 1993 and meet Kurt Cobain all to impress a girl he hoped to one day pork with.

Here’s the convo, courtesy of our friends at the Daily Dot.

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HEAVY IS THE BURDEN OF THE GIFT.

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Something tells me these teens are going to have their minds blown when they learn about dreaming. YOU WERE DREAMING SON, THAT’S WHAT HAPPENED HERE. When you go to sleep and then you see things, those are called dreams.

God, LOL teens are dumb.

That said, I do believe dreams are capable of predicting the future. Many times I’ve seen something in a dream that has happened down the road, be it buildings, people or situations.

That is a form of time travel and you can’t convince me otherwise.


TAGSKurt CobainNirvanaTeenstime travelTinder

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