There’s some crazy shit that sports teams think up to toss onto a menu for fans to “enjoy” while attending the ballpark—like this—but the West Michigan Whitecaps may have just created the most ridiculous options that I’ve ever seen.
Holding a Fan Food Vote for the seventh-straight year to allow their supporters to decide what sounds the tastiest, the team has put together some dishes that sound… interesting.
Just take a look at the options and decide four yourself how many heart attacks these would be responsible for:
Alaskan Chili
What would you do for a Klondike Bar? Would you freeze it, scoop a ladleful of piping hot chili on top and top it off with some melted cheese for “a feast fit for a king,” according to this fan submission? Juneau you would.
Deep Fried Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup Pie
How can you improve upon Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup Pie? You deep fry it and put it on a stick. At just 540 calories there is no thanks needed for this wonderful creation.
Dutch Love
Is “Liefde” the Dutch word for love or a pita wrap filled with turkey pot roast, French fries, turkey gravy and cheese curds? If it’s not the second, then it should be.
Franky Ears
How do you entice people to eat their vegetables? Try wrapping them in bacon – which is what we did with ears of corn that were then deep fried. It’s a-maize-ing.
Nut So Healthy
Imagine you’re hiking through a forest. The sun is shining, there’s a light breeze in the air and the birds are singing. You stop for a snack. You pull out two chewy granola bars that have been deep fried and covered in chocolate. It’s like a tender kiss from Mother Nature.
High Five Burger
At 1,300 calories, this 1/3-pound burger topped with onion rings, mozzarella sticks, French fries and Founders Dirty Bastard Ground Mustard requires more than a fist bump, especially in a state that’s already shaped like a hand. Up high!
Plato-Nut
The ancient philosopher is known for a litany of legendary phrases, including “Courage is knowing what not to fear” and “Take Gyro ingredients and, instead of using a pita, put them on a glazed doughnut.” Knowledge is delicious.
Shellfish Tendencies
Putting syrup on your waffles is old hat, and the chicken-and-waffle craze seems to be waning. But topping a four-inch sweet waffle with creamy lobster salad is the type of sweet and succulent treat that can draw anyone out of their shell.
Between the burger that’s 1,300 calories, a dish actually called the “Nut So Healthy” and all the other deep-fried options, my heart may have just died from looking at all of these. Choose wisely, Whitecaps fans!
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