To be fair, if I were forced into a situation where I had to explain what the fuck was going on during a soccer game or face death, there’s a good chance I’d wind up dead. I don’t even know what the fuck this says:
Whilst in attendance at the mouthwatering tie between Paris Saint Germain and Barcelona in the second week of group stages in the UEFA Champions League, Jigga–accompanied by Beyonce–sat besides none other than England’s best known celebrity footballer export, Becks…
I know what all those words mean separately, like “mouthwatering” means “ooh that’s tasty” and “Paris” is a city, but “mouthwatering tie between Paris?” That means exactly 0 things to me, and apparently Jay-Z feels the same way.
Don’t worry Z, let’s dip out and go catch a hockey game together. I still won’t fully grasp what’s going on, but it’s 100x less boring than soccer.