The Essay This Kid Wrote For This College Application Is Equal Parts Stupid, Brilliant, Ballsy And More Stupid

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College applications really weren’t THAT bad as long as you weren’t an idiot, and in the case that you were an idiot, well, you probably weren’t getting into college anyway so they were a moot point. Just another way to blow $50 except instead of getting something in return like say, a shirt, you got the warm fuzzy feeling that says “no one wants you because ur an iddit go away,” aka the buzz of rejection.

Redditor bedwetter95 knows that feeling very well considering this was one of the essays he wrote. Whether or not this kid’s name is actually “Prodip Goldman” I can’t say, but if he really did put his real name into a Reddit TIFU then props to him. Kid’s got balls of steel, as you’ll soon see:

This happened about a year ago, and I was very upset about this happening and it actually impacted my life at the time, but now I can have a laugh about it and share it on reddit. So pretty much for the school I was applying to we had to write about an experience in our High School career that made us choose that college, I was pretty baked when I wrote this and submitted it and I deeply regretted it after I realized it was sent.

“Prodip Goldman was a quiet kid in High School, he never had many friends and he never acquired any pussy. Prodip’s nights would mainly consist of smoking large amounts of doritos flavored weed and starting YouTube comment wars until 4 in the morning. One particular Autumn day while walking home from school, Prodip set a goal, and his goal was to snatch up some pussy inb4 Winter break.

As weeks went on, Prodip was sitting at lunch and overheard a couple of the cool kids talking about weed, and they were thinking about getting a huge shipment of some super good shit for an insane house party during the weekend. Prodip grew some balls and went over to the group and mumbled, “I can hook yall up with some dorito flavored loud for the party.” As surprised as they were to hear that, the cool kids were down. Though Prodip continued, “But, only on one occasion, you guys gotta hook me up with some mad pussy at the party.” One kid in the group named Quan said “Ayy bruh we got tons of model bitches comin’ inn an out, they be down to fuck long as you hook em up with that dorito dank na’mean?.”

After lunch was over, Prodip ran to the bathroom squealing in excitement about the pussy he would acquire at the party, and immediately called up Ron, his dealer.”

Those were the exact words written on the application.

According to Prodip, when he received his rejection letter in the mail there was also a note attached to it from the local police department that stated he was not allowed on the university’s grounds for any reason. Way to jump the gun there soldier, not like this winner wants to go to your poop school anyway. Kid’s got bigger dreams, like starting comment wars on FACEBOOK instead of YouTube. Plebs.

[Via Reddit]