Antonio Brown Released His First Rap Song And It’s As Awful As You’d Expect

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Antonio Brown’s descent into irrelevancy has taken another bizarre and slightly sad turn, as the former Pittsburgh Steelers, Oakland Raiders, and New England Patriots wide receiver is apparently working on a rap album with Sean Kingston. Who? Yeah, that Sean Kingston, the one who was popular a decade ago. Memba him?! Ooooohhhh I memba.

On Monday, the South Park caricature of a wide receiver released the first clip of his new music with Kingston, and as you probably already imagined, it’s absolutely awful. It sounds like the type of song that would be made by your college buddy who got a little too high one day and decided he wanted to drop out of school and become a producer.

The song, which seems to be called “Bad Decisions”, comes chock full of Shakespearan lyrics such as “sippin’ on that Hennessy, I know you missin’ me” and “baby girl, give me some distance and forget everything that you mention.”

As I listen to the auditory abomination, I can’t help but wonder where the hell AB’s crew is. Like, sure, they’re probably all “yes men”, but you’re telling me the guy doesn’t have one homie with enough balls to look him in the face and say “yeah, uh, AB… this ain’t it, Chief.”

I understand that Brown has likely bankrolled their entire adult lives, but if I was rich and famous enough to have an entourage, I’d hope at least one of my boys would care about me enough to let me know when I’m making a complete fool of myself. Unfortunately for Mr. Big Chest, it appears he doesn’t have that sort of friend in his crew.

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Eric is a New York City-based writer who still isn’t quite sure how he’s allowed to have this much fun for a living and will tell anyone who listens that Gotham City is canonically in New Jersey. Follow him on Twitter @eric_ital for movie and soccer takes or contact him eric@brobible.com

Eric Italiano Avatar
Eric is a New York City-based writer who still isn’t quite sure how he’s allowed to have this much fun for a living and will tell anyone who listens that Gotham City is canonically in New Jersey. Contact him eric@brobible.com