Brobible
I’ve been living in New York City for close to five years now which means I’ve become desensitized to a lot of things that are capable of giving many visitors a serious case of culture shock.
I barely glance up from my phone when a group of youths start pole dancing in the middle of a subway card, have become numb to the kids pestering me to donate money to their “basketball team,” and rarely bat an eye at having to pay $14 for a cocktail.
Thankfully, there are plenty of places you can pop into if you’re trying to get your drink on without breaking the bank. However, there’s one watering hole that trumps all of the rest, a shining oasis in an overpriced desert: Applebee’s.
A couple of months ago, I ate good in the neighborhood while sucking down a few $1 Zombies, just one in a long line of their enticing drink specials.
Now, Applebee’s is ringing in the Christmas season by slinging up some holiday spirits in the form of $1 Jolly Rancher cocktails served up with an actual piece of their namesake candy, which will be making their grand entrance across the country today.
Applebee’s was nice enough to give me a taste of the “Dollar Jolly” ahead of its debut, and after some careful consideration, I’ve put together a few thoughts for your reading pleasure.
Without further ado, here’s the official BroBible review.
Green Apple
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Let’s start with the color, which can only be described as “Energy Drink Green” and bears an uncanny resemblance to the nerve agent from The Rock.
As far as the nose is concerned, it was tough to detect any real aroma but I got some vanilla notes after taking a few whiffs.
There are plenty of people out there who believe “purple” is a flavor all its own and I’d argue the same can be said for green.
The first sip transported me back to the days when I was throwing back Nuclear Wasteds (lime Jello shots made with grain alcohol) in a blacklit dorm room while violently pumping my fist to a Calvin Harris song.
The Dollar Jolly is made with vodka so it’s safe to say it doesn’t come close to having the same kick as those guys did. If anything, it goes down a little too easily.
It starts off sweet (but not cloyingly so) before the slight tartness of the green apple sneaks up on you and lingers a bit on the palate.
I have to admit it was better than I expected, and after downing a glass, I turned my sights to the other variety being offered this holiday season.
Cherry
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The year was 2010, a time when snapbacks were an essential part of any outfit, the world learned what a vuvuzela was, and Mike Posner was still a thing.
It was around this time Four Loko took over the world before The Man stepped in to ruin everyone’s fun. Prior to the caffeine ban, many of my nights were powered by the Fruit Punch variety, which bears an uncanny resemblance in color to the Cherry Dollar Jolly.
However, only one of them was designed to be consumed in moderation.
I took a whiff and detected a fair amount of cherry and have to admit I would have been pretty concerned if I hadn’t.
If I had to describe the flavor, I’d say it tastes like a more full-bodied version of one of those freezer pops that come in packs of 2,000 and somehow retail for $4.99. It’s not overly sweet but it was fairly one-note compared to the Green Apple, which had the pucker at the end to take things to the next level.
In the end, this grabbed the silver medal while the Green Apple took the top spot on the podium as the Applebee’s national anthem plays in the background (which, based on what was coming out of the speakers when I tasted the Zombies, is a song by the band Train).
So what’s the final verdict? If you ask me, you might as well have a Dollar Jolly Christmas. After all, It’s the best time of the year.