Presented in partnership with CAULIPOWER…
Of all the youthful joys that age has robbed us of — the belief in Santa Claus, pogs, when the word ‘troll‘ meant nothing more than a doll with fun hair rather than a grown man who’s Mad Online — arguably the saddest abandoned delight has been our collective affinity for chicken tenders.
It’s like we just woke up one day, sprouted our first pit hair, rejected our parents’ love, and decided that the Official Cuisine of Every 90s Baby was inferior to slicing up a half-ripe avocado, throwing it on some toast, and trying to figure out where it all went wrong.
In our defense, chickie tendies were at their best when we could eat them guilt-free, with a metabolism that was a hair faster than a geriatric slug traveling through peanut butter.
Well I have good news for you, my internet friends.
The innovative folks at CAULIPOWER are doing their part to bring all the magic of chicken tenders back, with none of the carb-counting, button-busting, or belly-jiggling.
CAULIPOWER tendies (should I stop saying it like that? Make me.) are made with premium, cage-free chicken and coated with cauliflower and other gluten-free ingredients, a mouth-watering recipe that will launch you back to the delicious flavors of your childhood faster than a dial-up modem.
Coming in two different flavors — Original recipe and a Spicy(ish) flavor — CAULIPOWER chicken tenders are the only baked (never fried) tenders in the freezer aisle, and at just 490 calories in an ENTIRE BAG, you can polish off a whole one guilt-free while you ponder why the younger you rocked jean cargo shorts and a mushroom cut in your yearbook photo.
Given that CAULIPOWER chicken tenders have zero saturated fat and zero added sugar, there is no longer any reason to trick yourself into believing that celery sticks and hummus are a reasonable snack of choice for a gathering involving people you love.
Before I sign off, I’d like to strike a deal…
Take the coupon embedded in this article, head to one of 8,000 stores nationwide, pick yourself up a bag(s) of CAULIPOWER chicken tenders, bake them in the oven for 15 minutes, and eat as many as your deserving heart desires. If you don’t thoroughly enjoy them or you feel like a gluttonous pig afterwards, I will trade you my entire collection of pogs straight up. No questions asked.
Except the slammers, of which I am irrationally sentimental of.
The BroBible team writes about gear that we think you want. Occasionally, we write about items that are a part of one of our affiliate partnerships and we will get a percentage of the revenue from sales.