MLS All-Time Leading Scorer Gets Suspended, Casually Takes In The Game As A Delusional Shirtless Fan

by 10 months ago
shirtless soccer fan

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Let’s get ahead of this one: the person you see in the image above you is very much not MLS all-time leading scorer Chris Wondolowski. That dude is some nameless Napolitano going nuts during Napoli’s Champions League victory over defending champions Liverpool.

But because the internet — especially when it comes to photo use — is one giant copyright mousetrap-laden hellscape, I opted to use photo of my thiccc Italian friend instead (a solid rule of thumb for all you young writers and content creators out there is to just stick to the photo subscription services, because it’s never worth it).

Anyway, on to Wondolowski, who was forced to take in last night’s San Jose Earthquakes game due to a red car suspension. Wondolowski — or as the fans call him, Wondo — is Major League Soccer’s all-time leading goal scorer with 158 goals and counting, yet that didn’t stop him from opting to serve his suspension with the fans who have cheered him on his entire 14-year-long career.

Look, say what you will about MLS, but their fans — the fans that act like this — are as passionate of soccer fans as you’ll find across the globe, so Wondo joining them in the madness of the crowd is an awesome lifetime memory they’ll take with them forever.

Unfortunately for Wondolowski, similar to Bill Buckner (RIP), no matter how truly great the totality of his career may wind up being, he’ll always be remembered for his one defining error, an error that cost the United States Men’s National Team what would have been the most significant victory in their history.


Eric is a New York City-based writer who still isn’t quite sure how he’s allowed to have this much fun for a living and will tell anyone who listens that Gotham City is canonically in New Jersey. Contact him on Twitter @eric_ital or via email