Every now and then something comes along that reminds me of why I love working on the Internet all day, and this Twitter thread about Peloton bike owners is exactly that. I couldn’t stop reading because it only got better and better.
I was actually pretty torn on whether or not to share this amazing Twitter thread from @ClueHeywood because I’ve been getting served Peloton bike ads nonstop for months now and I don’t know why. I didn’t really want to exacerbate this situation by putting my name on an article with the word ‘Peloton’ in it a hundred times but I ultimately decided this shit’s too funny not to share with you all.
This Twitter user’s bio reads ‘Peloton owner. What more would you need to know?’ but after reading through this thread I have many more questions. For starters, I want to know where I can see this comedian roast Peloton owners in person. I don’t want to ramble on too much though because this thread is amazing and it’s lengthy, with each tweet getting better.
I think the major takeaway here is a Peloton bike isn’t even worth owning unless you’ve got a multi-million dollar house to store it in and a dedicated room with a million-dollar view. You might have a sick pad. There might be a dope jacuzzi out back and a pool with a grotto. But if you don’t have a room set up just for your Peloton then you’re wasting your damn money on the HOTTEST workout craze of 2019.
Meanwhile, I can hate on this all I want but I’ve secretly been debating a Peloton bike for months. I’ve recently lost 25-pounds mostly thanks to an uptick in cardio at CycleBar where I’m burning 800 to 1,000-calories per class and I’ve thought about buying a Peloton to throw in my garage so I can get a similar workout at home. Fortunately, I now realize my garage would be the absolute worst place on the planet to place a Peloton bike and I’d be nothing more than a total dickfor if I did that. So this Twitter thread actually saved me the embarrassment.