BFFS Pod
Try as I might, I was unable to avoid the Zach Bryan-Brianna Chickenfry drama because I got sucked into the new Zach Bryan diss track from Brianna LaPaglia’s ‘BFFS Pod’ co-hosts Dave Portnoy and Josh Richards titled ‘Smallest Man.’ The song title is an obvious reference to Taylor Swift’s song as well as Zach Bryan‘s rumored 5’7″ height… The Internet is split on that and the ‘Smallest Man’ lyrics claim Zach Bryan is a mere 5’2″… There are a LOT OF UPDATES below, by the way. So buckle up!
Dave Portnoy‘s ‘Smallest Man’ has no business going this hard. It’s a silly diss track they threw money at and filmed around Miami. But it’s catchy. The music video is very well done. And the song is good enough that Zach Bryan will be completely unable to ignore it as it has reached almost a million views since it was released at midnight last night, in true Taylor Swift fashion. It can also be seen here on Instagram.
UPDATE 3.0: Zach Bryan appears to have had the ‘Smallest Man’ diss track taken down now on Instagram, Twitter, and YouTube. But it’s still up on Spotify and Rumble:
And
Smallest Man, the Zach Bryan diss track
New episode of BFFs dropping Thursday at 8pm ET pic.twitter.com/nvSTiO1gSN
— BFFs (@BFFsPod) November 6, 2024
Props where props are due. This lyric goes hard, particularly the second half: “This ain’t a subtweet, I ain’t coming subliminal. You’re great at being country without the second syllable.” Something about the visual of a bunch of dudes with comedy backgrounds sitting around the Barstool offices writing up diss track lyrics to rip Zach Bryan warms my soul. It brings me back to the days when there were still everyday blog wars on the Internet.
The line “Imma kick your d— in to give you an adult circumcision” is so childishly hilarious I can’t help but laugh at it. Truly. All while the beat goes hard. They crushed it with this. The two male co-hosts of the ‘BFFS Pod’ sticking up for their girl, you love to see it.
Meanwhile, Zach Bryan (and/or his record label) appears to have gotten Dave Portnoy’s ‘Smallest Man’ removed from YouTube which should only trigger the Streisand Effect as the video lives on both on X and Instagram:
The Smallest Man is NOT happy (but you can still watch it pinned to our profile and on all our other socials) pic.twitter.com/e4SAYlv7u8
— BFFs (@BFFsPod) November 6, 2024
UPDATE 1.0: it’s back on YouTube!
UPDATE 2.0: YouTube took it down again! Zach Bryan (or his labeL) are reaching new levels of petty with this.
Josh has called him out on TikTok though after having it taken down. Just reiterating the ‘smallest man in the world’ title for Zach Bryan:
@joshrichards THEY CANT SILENCE US #smallestman
UPDATE 4.0: hilarious. They are now selling merch for the diss track as Zach Bryan continues to ignore everything and either him or his label have been fightin ghard to keep the Zach Bryan ‘Smallest Man’ diss track off of YouTube, Instagram, and Facebook:
Aaaaand it’s now up on YouTube here, I think this is Update 6.0 at this point:
Update 7.0: Dave Portnoy has pledged to write ‘10,000 diss tricks’ aimed at Zach Bryan. Also, it was revealed that Zach Bryan kicked Dave’s internet famous dog Miss Peaches out of his dressing room:
@stoolpresidente Another twist in the smallest man diss track saga #davesversion
Maybe Zach Bryan’s biggest crime was when he kicked Miss Peaches out of his dressing room at Gillette. pic.twitter.com/5yvlzIn6VH
— BFFs (@BFFsPod) November 8, 2024
“Never seen someone so scared of what other people say.” … You just know that Zach Bryan is going to be stewing over that one for a LONG time.
Update 5.0: in the latest episode of the BFFS Pod, Brianna Chickenfry has alleged that she turned down signing an NDA for Zach Bryan after the breakup. It was, after all, him who is alleged to have cheated on her and then broken up with her after the alleged cheating occurred.
Dave Portnoy says in the clip that Brianna was offered a ton of money, ‘basically $12 million bucks, is what it ended up being’ as she nods in agreement. She says “it was never about the money, I was with the dude because I loved the dude.” Here is the clip:
Bri turned down a $12,000,000 NDA from Zach Bryan after they broke up @BFFsPod pic.twitter.com/ElicDmNX3u
— Barstool Sports (@barstoolsports) November 8, 2024
The ‘Smallest Man’ diss track hits even harder now with all of this information coming to surface after the fact.
Speaking about Zach Bryan two weeks ago, Portnoy said “I was never a liker…I think he’s a fraud Everytime I met him, I was not comfortable with him. There are certain guys where you’re like I kind of like this guy, he’s a good vibe guy, this guy never gave that vibe to me.” It’s obvious there was no love toward Zach Bryan from the Barstool guys and this diss trick is the latest evidence of that.