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Twitter, a melancholic abyss where people scream out their opinions on everything from politics to sports to how to properly remove eggs from the carton. If you didn’t think that the way you take your eggs out could be a highly divisive issue, you just don’t understand how Twitter can be an inescapable hellhole of biased beliefs and a place for the instant rise of presumptuous authorities on every subject no matter the discipline.
There seemed to be three distinct tribes in the egg removal debate: those who take eggs from the outside rows until you get to the center, those who take eggs from the center rows and work your way to the outside, and the chaotic “take whatever egg you feel like because you’re not an OCD maniac” group. The left to center proponents argue that we read from left to right, so we should apply that logic to egg removal. Plus, being left-handed and right-handed determines what side you take your eggs from. The take the center eggs first crowd claim that by taking the eggs in the middle, it keeps the carton balanced when you transport it in and out of the refrigerator. The chaos crew that takes random eggs out of the carton are unhinged anarchists who don’t give a care to logic.
It all started when Brian Faughnan asked what he assumed was an innocent question, little did he know he would ignite a fiery Twitter debate that started the hashtag #EggCartonTwitter.
https://twitter.com/BrianFaughnan/status/959784908892844032
Soon, the opinions and hot takes on eggs raged onto Twitter like the unstoppable wave from The Day After Tomorrow. Many Twitter users attempted to gaslight an entire nation and cause them to question their own sanity of how they’ve been removing eggs from the carton for decades.
https://twitter.com/SonnyBunch/status/959787343833165824
Only crazy people don't go through eggs in an egg carton from left to right. https://t.co/wYDuP2Kwqh
— Comfortably Smug (@ComfortablySmug) February 3, 2018
You empty it from the middle out.
— David Weigel (@daveweigel) February 3, 2018
I was having a pretty good morning until @SonnyBunch dropped into my TL with his insane and dangerous egg carton pattern theories
— David Burge (@iowahawkblog) February 3, 2018
Do I really have to explain optimal egg carton firing order?
11-5-1-3-7-9
10-8-4-2-6-12— David Burge (@iowahawkblog) February 3, 2018
That is a terrible idea. You're supposed to use them from the center on out to the sides. Anything else is an error.
— Jeff Blehar is *BOX OFFICE POISON* (@EsotericCD) February 3, 2018
https://twitter.com/colonel_potter/status/959785911767719936
https://twitter.com/redsteeze/status/960230448768147457
https://twitter.com/redsteeze/status/959827981677092864
People actually take eggs from the center of the carton so the 18 ounces of weight will be balanced? pic.twitter.com/TxcMpjJfRn
— Paul Sacca (@Paul_Sacca) February 4, 2018
Needless, reckless instability. Might as well put your eggs on a fidget spinner
— Scott Lincicome (@scottlincicome) February 3, 2018
https://twitter.com/SonnyBunch/status/959827278434848769
Then there were these people.
https://twitter.com/GPollowitz/status/960130312981438467
Sounds like today is as good a day as any to share my slight ocd with egg carton management. B = boiled, obviously. 14 of them for the week, 2/day, ending at the center. Unboiled ones guarding the corners. Everyday morning #win #EggCartonTwitter pic.twitter.com/w6w3wpMHya
— Suhel Banerjee (@suhel) February 4, 2018
#BurnItDown pic.twitter.com/pUyHCrZqsq
— Noam Blum (@neontaster) February 4, 2018
https://twitter.com/KneesPenguin/status/960183506306351104
There was a Twitter poll with 6,489 votes that found 29% prefer taking their eggs “Left to Right,” 17% “Right to Left,” and 12% “Middle out.”
https://twitter.com/BridgetPhetasy/status/959831108643799040
In the end, as with all discourse on Twitter, it ended with everything going to shit.
https://twitter.com/redsteeze/status/960173762246307841