Ah yes, the Florida Man.
The human being on which bizarre news cycles subsist on.
Take, for example, the man who went viral for climbing up an open drawbridge only get stuck hanging on for dear life. Or the man who was attacked by an alligator, lost his arm, and then survived in woods for days.
“She’s already got my arm, so when we came up the third time, she finally did her death roll and took off with my arm,” Eric Merda said of the incident.
This week brought us yet another Florida Man story. And it may just be the most bizarre on yet.
According to a report from the BBC, the US Coast Guard intercepted 44-year-old Reza Baluchi about 70 miles (110km) off Tybee Island, Georgia.
“Mr. Baluchi has tried three similar voyages before, all of which ended in Coast Guard intervention. The makeshift contraption he was using is shaped as a wheel, with paddles that are designed to propel it forward as the wheel revolves,” Max Mazta wrote.
The criminal complain against Baluchi insists the voyage was not not safe.
“Based on the condition of the vessel – which was afloat as a result of wiring and buoys – [US Coast Guard] officers determined Baluchi was conducting a manifestly unsafe voyage,” is reads.
Officials said he refused to step off the vessel and threatened to kill himself. He also claimed that he had a bomb on board, according to court papers.
In 2014, Baluchi had to be rescued from a similar contraption near St Augustine, Florida. Then two years later he again had to be rescued off the coast of Jupiter, near Palm Beach.
In 2021, he was arrested after being rescued while trying to ride from Florida to New York after drifting 30 miles south of his departure point.
One day, Reza. We believe in you.