It’s almost impossible to keep track of which parents have kids going to school, which are fully remote, and which kids are in a hybrid schedule.
“Oh, is your kid going to school?”
“Well, he’s home every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, and goes to school on Tuesday and Thursday, unless those days are odd numbers, then the days reverse, and he’s only going until 1pm and finishing the rest of the day in his bedroom unless we get an AirBnB reservation for his room because we’re broke, then he finishes school at a McDonald’s but not the one down the street, they’re still only open for a few hours a day.”
“Oh. How do you keep track?”
“I don’t. I totally leave it up to my kids to remember. I ALREADY WENT to school.”
Here are the funniest tweets and memes from dads this week.
My wife is angry with me because it turns out I was right about something if any of you are thinking of getting into a relationship
— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) October 16, 2020
I will out-dad you simply by placing more burgers on my grill than yours. How many burgers is that? I have 27
— Crockett🍀 (@CrockettForReal) October 16, 2020
Parents in Parents in
2020 B.C. 2020 A.D.
These kids and their
— poltergregst (@WeedlordKrillin) October 10, 2020
6-year-old: I know the life cycle of a turtle.
Me: What's the first stage?
Me: What's the last stage?
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) October 15, 2020
My 8-year-old’s class had to post their conclusion sentence from their paragraph and classmates could “like” them, and he was obsessively tracking his likes to see if he got the most. Looks like he’s ready for adulthood.
— Andrew Knott (@aknott21) October 15, 2020
WORKOUT SHIRT OF THE DAY
I just want the confidence of a Facebook user who posts 11 paragraphs on his social or political insights and thinks anyone reads beyond “Here’s something to think about…”
— dADDisms (@Beagz) October 15, 2020
I spent 30 minutes looking for my keys only to find that my kids actually put them away on the key hook.
2020 keeps getting weirder and weirder.
— Shannon Carpenter (@HossmanAtHome) October 16, 2020
Everyday is Prime Day when you’re married to my wife.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) October 13, 2020