Thousands of years ago, the greatest thinkers of the time set out on a mission to do the seemingly impossible: turn boring substances like lead into shiny (and expensive) metals like gold.
While alchemists gave it their all, at some point, people who actually understand how science works realized their quest was about as fruitless as a pineapple tree at the North Pole and all but put an end to the experimentation.
There are still plenty of other theoretically possible discoveries humans continue to pursue, like a cure for cancer—which one group of scientists might actually be closer to coming up with than you’d think.
While that might currently be the holy grail of scientific achievements, there’s one other problem people have been attempting to address that would change the world as we know it if a solution is ever discovered: a cure for hangovers.
As it currently stands, a breakfast sandwich and a bottle of Gatorade is the closest you’ll come to having a pill that will make your body hate you less for what you did to it the night before. Consequently, we’re forced to come up with other ways to lessen the blow that comes with waking up to a splitting headache and a bunch of replies to texts you have no recollection of sending.
While “not drinking in the first place” is the most foolproof strategy, it’s not always the most realistic one. As a result, there are others people tend to employ while drinking to lessen the blow, including an old adage that says there’s no better way to get sicker quicker than switching from beer to harder stuff.
However, how much weight does that theory actually hold?
According to CNN, a group of researchers decided to put the adage to the test by getting a group of lucky text subjects drunk in the name of science. Here’s how they conducted the experiment:
[R]esearchers recruited 90 brave souls in Germany between the ages of 19 and 40 to drink beer, wine or both. One group drank 2½ pints of beer, followed by four large glasses of wine. The second group drank the four glasses of wine first, then the 2½ pints of beer. A third group drank only beer or only wine. Everyone was kept under medical supervision overnight.
The researchers then let the alcohol wash out and people recover, and a week later — still fueled by scientific curiosity and determined to find the right way to drink — they brought everybody back for a second day of drinking. This time, people drank in the reverse order: Those who had started with beer on the first day were given wine this time, those who had started with wine were given beer first, and those who had drunk only beer were given wine and vice versa.
After looking at the results, the study determined that there was no noted lack in the severity of hangovers based on the order of consumption (I’m curious what would’ve happened if they’d added some harder liquor to the equation but I doubt it would have made anyone feel better).
I’m just glad to know the thing I’ve been doing for the past decade has had no impact whatsoever. I’m not bitter at all. Not one bit.
I guess I’m jumping back on the liquor is quicker bandwagon. Feel free to join me.