Time is faceless these days. As the days blend together, it’s important to maintain some semblance of personal habit, to carve out time for routine. For some, that means setting aside an hour to read a book; for others, it’s researching and preparing a new risotto recipe. For Olivia Jade Giannulli—five-star blue chip recruit to USC’s elite rowing team and daughter of future inmate Lori Loughlin—it’s taking robe selfies in the bathroom mirror.
For months, fans of Olivia Jade wondered nervously how she could possibly juggle the rigors of her academic course load, weight lifting, practice, and weekly races, all while maintaining her massive social media presence. There was no question that she would win a seat in the varsity boat, given her stellar high school rowing accolades. Indeed, the daughter of the Full House star was already being whispered about as an Olympic hopeful. Hell, even the Winkelvoss twins were known to watch through binoculars as she paddled by.
As luck would have it, the world was brought to a halt thanks to a pandemic. All of the course requirements for Olivia Jade’s entire Biomedical Engineering concentration were moved online. The rowing season was cancelled due to the despotic hoodlums of the NCAA’s governing board. And with that, the star rower was provided the freedom she needed to post not one but two mirror selfies—so similar yet so different—from the comfort of her parents’ home, which may or may not still be listed on Zillow.
Those of us who longed to watch the strapping boatwoman dominate the spring season should find comfort in knowing that as the rough, oar-formed callouses on Olivia’s hands are replaced by supple, moisturized skin, she’ll have all the time she needs to frame those selfies.