If You’re Mad That John Krasinski Sold ‘Some Good News’, You’re A Chump

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Hello and welcome to America, the land of opportunity—the opportunity to create something great, then continue to deliver it to our hungry eyeballs for FREE or so help me God, we will turn on you faster than outdoor cottage cheese.

You may have heard that John Krasinski sold his popular new web series Some Good News. Most of the world understands how commerce works, but a lot of people felt personally betrayed.

Earth to Matilda? This isn’t a communal garden. We’re not plucking grape tomatoes and cucumbers from the vine, placing them in a wicker basket, and lugging them to the sharing table for everyone’s benefit. We’re not holding hands and giving thanks to some polytheistic deity before we sup hearty stew from our earthen bowls. Here’s what happened:

John Krasinski created a web series. The show was popular. Then he sold it to a network. What an unusual, selfish process. It’s not as though the exact same model was used by…

Workaholics, Insecure, Broad City, High Maintenance, and maybe a thousand other popular shows that are currently enjoying success? YouTube has become a funnel for creators to get their vision in front of people, without needing a massive check from a studio or a huge star/director attached? We own the means of production? The Andrew Schulz model?! Doesn’t anybody see this?! I feel like I’m taking crazy pills!!!!!

These bitches are everywhere. These little whiny, needy, pathetic bitches. That’s what they are—bitches. Here a bitch, there a bitch, everywhere a bitch bitch.

John Krasinski doesn’t owe you. You aren’t a shareholder in his creations. You didn’t stake him the seed money needed to shoot Some Good News. And sure, he sourced stories from the internet. Does that mean America’s Funniest Home Videos, Tosh.0, Ridiculousness, and every other clip show should consult with the morons in their clips about the direction, structuring, and possible sale of their shows? Get the fuck out of my face.

The world is full of dumb people. Congratulations on your successful show sale, John. Here’s hoping you create and sell 10 more so we can delight over the chorus of whining morons.