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There was once a dark, dark time when the worst thing you could hear while trying to place an order at McDonald’s was “We’re not serving breakfast anymore.”
Thankfully, times have changed and we now live in a world where you no longer have to worry about trying to stop yourself from pulling a Falling Down after you were deprived of a hash brown because you walked through the door at 10:31.
However, there are still a few things you never want to hear while getting food at McDonald’s, like:
- “The ice cream machine is broken.”
- “No, the McRib isn’t back yet.”
- “Sir, you need a car to use the drive-thru lane.”
However, in my opinion, there’s nothing more discouraging than one soul-crushing statement: “We’re out of apple pies.”
If there’s nothing more American than apple pie, than McDonald’s take on the treat is the equivalent of a shirtless George Washington riding a bald eagle while playing the national anthem on a guitar like that dude from Mad Max: Fury Road.
However, if you’re as big of a fan as the McDonald’s apple pie as I am, I have some horrible, horrible news.
According to Business Insider, the fast food giant recently decided it would be a good idea to break a good thing by tweaking their apple pie recipe as the chain continues to strive to offer healthier options to its customers.
How dare they.
I haven’t had the chance to try out the revamped dessert yet, but based on how some people have reacted so far, I’m bracing myself for disappointment.
@McDonalds I don’t even know what to say!!! Where’s the green box? Where’s the apple PIE?!! The Franken-Strudel you have offered 2 nite is yet another example of big business sticking it to the common man!! You know what I’m talking about @Mazzios!! #lowbudget pic.twitter.com/kON8sQMGOT
— Jason Lindley (@The_Mr_Lindley) September 12, 2018
https://twitter.com/daniceajanee/status/1041908762897010689
https://twitter.com/Miss_BusyB/status/1041755541951991810
https://twitter.com/natashacuevas/status/1041795304708886531
As far as I’m concerned, the apple pies they served before were already healthy enough because they counted as a serving of fruit.
Sure, they might have also contained copious amounts of sugar, butter, and preservatives, but isn’t that what really made them so American in the first place?
I’d say I’d boycott McDonald’s over this if I didn’t know there’s a 99% chance I still order three apple pies the next time I get the munchies.